Looking into Misty Eyes

Chapter 21 ~ can I fix this (Part 2)

Chapter 21 part 2

When I burst into the room I forgot all about the smeared puke on my cheeks, of the arrangements with Pire and the ones with Tie.

All I could think was, how can I fix this?

Not so surprisingly the girls looked mad when they saw me.

Sprawled on Marlys bed they glared, and the first word that came out of Carlys mouth was, “you”

Obviously I hadn’t done anything directly harmful, any onlooker wouldn’t have a clue as to why, the invisible girl was now the one in the spot light. But instead of dancing rays of harmless yellow, I was burning in the gaze of the two people I should probably be on the good side of.  

“I’m sorry,” I choked out, unsure of what exactly I was being blamed for, only knowing that I was the one that was being blamed.

“We don’t want to talk to you right now,” Carly spat, but Marly shook her head, her eyes tearing up more, making her blink.

“I want her to explain,” she breathed and then rubbed away the gooziness under her eye-lashes.

“uh-I-I…” what should I say? “Sorry for having a crush on your boyfriend, for talking to your brother, for acting like a crazy person for the last week because of ghosts”?

“I didn’t think- I’m not sure- what I…” I gave up, slapping my hands against my legs and looking away, feeling my own eyes blur, oh god, I can’t lose my friends over nothing.

“why does Mark want to be with you?” Carly growled, I almost didn’t hear her, but the words made me so stunned and shocked, and unsure on whether they were really said that my head snapped over to them again, a single tear falling down my face.

“he does?” I was dumbfounded, and secretly giddy at the idea.

I knew my cheeks must have turned pink or something must have given it away because Marly was now jolting up right, an accusing finger posed, “I see the way he looks at you! He said we needed to talk, he told me,” she wailed, “that he thinks his feelings are elsewhere! He actually said,” it was then I realised how drunk she was, her words slurring into the next sentence, “’ I don’t actually love you yet, I don’t think I can say that while you’re like this, I want it to be to the right kind of person,’” she started sobbing uncontrollably.

“but…” I was lost, I couldn’t say sorry anymore, this wasn’t me in the wrong, this was because of me.

“I’m going to go talk to him,” I turned away and took a deep breath.

“Of cause you are,”

I walked away from the ,messy scene and back to the party.

Before entering I took my phone out of my cardigan pocket.

I wasn’t ready to face a crowd of people judging me, I wasn’t even sure as to whether Mark would be in there. So I texted him to meet me in the lounge room down stairs.

I had made a detour to the public bathrooms and washed my face clean when I’d gotten to the lounge, he was already there, looking sullen and uncomfortable, I could empathise.

“Marly sai-,” I paused unsure of whether or not to mention his supposed love to me, it could make things worse.

“she told me that you don’t love her, something about how you couldn’t say that to her because it had to be the right kind of person,”

He rolled his eyes, “she didn’t let me finish! She started accusing me of liking you! Of cheating,” I blushed but I doubt he noticed, as he went on, “I was going to say to her that I wanted to say it to the right her, but she’s bloody drunk, she might as well have been trying to get a wall to move.”

I gulped, so it wasn’t true, he didn’t like me like that. “You need to go tell her what you really meant, before she starts making out with someone else, she hates me…”

He sighed and sat down on a sofa, burying his head into his hands, “there’s no point right now, she needs to calm down first, I know how she gets, this isn’t the first time…”

I nodded even though I didn’t agree.

I then sat next to him. He looked up, eyes softening.

“Why were you throwing up before little one?” I shrugged, “isn’t that obvious?”

He didn’t reply, so I quickly said, “I ate something that disagreed with me,”

“Uhuh, and as if I’m going to believe that, you have barely been eating at all lately,”  

“apparently the cake’s going to be amazing,” I continue, diverting the conversation, “’wouldn’t have minded having a slice.”

“there’s still time if you’d like to come with me?”

“yeah and have everyone assume we’re an item, and for that to get back to Marly?” I declined by pointing it out, he nodded, “you should still go, I mean Tie really likes you,”

The idea made me shy away from Mark, why couldn’t crushes not exist? I couldn’t deny it anymore, I had a whopping crush on Markus.  

Nothing was going to happen with me and Tie, and nothing with  Mark either.

“I’m not into him though,” I whispered.

“Who are you into?” there was a sudden drop to his tone and our knees brushed.

“I-I… I don’t know…”

Somehow our faces were now craning closer and closer. I held my breath, afraid he’d smell the grossness. Our eyes connected and I was flying in his dark night orbs, it was him who pulled away.

“You’re right I need to go talk to Marly,”

 __

~ song of the chapter: 

Mercenary -

 Panic! at the Disco