Ted the Narcoleptic Sandwich Collector

The Operation

He woke up again but this time things were happening. Swarms of mechanical spiders were moving and preparing things. There were trays of instruments and strange beeping machines which he could not discern the purpose of. The spider things were obviously machines but there were strange lumps of organic matter dotted on them, a sort of greyish pulsing flesh. Above him there appeared to be an upside metal bowl filled with needles and wires. Suddenly all the metal spiders flowed in streams back to specially adapted cat flaps and all disappeared. Then there was a hiss and a door opened on the other side of the room. In entered strange vaguely humanoid creatures with round short fingers and toes . Their head was long and cone shaped with two eyes on the top and a mouth below. They also had a little tuft of vibrant hair on top. The point of the cone had been chopped off leaving a round nose pointing forwards. They wore fluffy jumpsuit like things, rather like onesies, Ted thought as he lay there. The nearest one stepped forward and spread a strange gel like substance over his head which had a quick numbing effect. The creature then went over to the biggest machine and flipped a lever causing the bowl thing to lower over his head sliding needles into every part of his head. I t was obviously some kind of anesthetic machine, and as he slowly lost his grip on reality, his last thought was of his precious sandwich and whether it would spoil if it didn't get home quick enough.

He woke up back in his cabin, on the opposite side of the world to where he had been. The land Rover had come with him, probably confusing the owners, but more importantly, the sandwich had disapeared! Ted hurriedly went to his cellar and found that every single sandwich had gone. Ted fell to his knees in shock and despair, and beat the floor with his fists wailing. Several hours later, he ad noticed he was bleeding and lifted up his shirt to find 3 wounds, however the stitches on one had come out due to his antics and was bleeding freely. Only then, after his despair and adrenaline had faded he noticed quite how much pain he was in. He painfully dragged himself up the steps, each movement sending a new wave of agony crashing down on him. He was bent double and could not stand without support, making every metre seem like a marathon. He rung up the local doctor and an ambulance came to pick him up as he was in no state to drive. The doctors examined him and found strangely, he no longer had an appendix. The doctor, listening to his story about aliens and sandwiches, declared him mentally unstable and sent him to an asylum.