Yes indeed YES INDEED! A Naruto fanfic has been chosen for our first critique. Naruto was the first anime we watched so it only seemed appropriate. We'll be scouring Wattpad for gut-wrenching Mary Sues to add to this book of atrocities. So prepare y...
He then felt something similar to electricity coursing through his veins. Little did he know, that was the Miido restructuring and activating the exclusively male cells, making our Kekkei Genkai, Beast Soul, that is better known as Tama Kedomono.
Let's get into a little bit of Biology shall we? First of all, I didn't even realize that cells can have a gender. Apparently they can, but they can only share the gender of the human being they're forming. So there wouldn't be any "exclusively" male cells. All of the DNA in his cells should have the XY sex chromosomes seeing as that's what physically makes him a male. So, quite literally, all of the cells in his body would be activated according to this. I'm not sure what that would look like, but I'm thinking a horrific explosion.
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Someone correct me if I'm wrong. Its been a while since I took AP Bio.
The cells needed to have the Kekkei Genkai are only found in males, making a female having the Kekkei Genkai rare, but due to some mutations, females have had the Kekkei Genkai before.
That should not be an entire sentence. Not grammatically correct. My second sentence isn't correct either, but since this is an informal review I can allow it. Isn't mock professional writing fun?
Anyways, Yukashii cells restructuring made his soul compatible with another animal.
It is believed, although it is only speculation, that there is a Supreme Creature that decides what animal that goes to which human soul.
And it is believed that the Supreme Creature is Ryuujin, Yukashii's Doushi, the other half of the soul.
Ryuujin, the Dragon King, formed a soul binding with Yukashii.
Ryuujin appeared and explained the situation to Yukashii.
Yukashii, with the assistance from Ryuujin, sealed all the Miido into Yukashii's soul, so he can investigate it further.
I would like to know how this guy is going to pull that shit out of his soul. Do you just reach in there and turn a handle?
Also, what does Yukashii look like? You didn't describe him at all. At this point he could be Conan O'Brien or even Elmo. Literally anyone. Ryuujin needs some description too. Everything needs more description. I mean, "Ryuujin,-, formed a soul binding with Yukashii." and "Ryuujin appeared and explained the situation..."? I want to know what the soul binding looks like. What is Yukashii feeling during all of this? Dude just met a fucking dragon. He has to be a little surprised, no?
Ryuujin and Yukashii formed a merge, giving Yukashii Ryuujin's abilities.
I mean...wasn't that what the soul binding was for?
Using Ryuujin's abilities, Yukashii tracked his crew.
-AND TOGETHER THEY SET OFF TO FIND GOL D. ROGER'S HIDDEN TREASURE, THE ONE PIECE.
