All Mine

Chapter 1: Nightmare

Even after months gone by, I couldn’t get rid of the pain I felt each time my memory would haunt me with it, mocking me. I wanted to kill myself, it was all too much, but I knew that I needed to wait for a few years to fully get over it. I couldn’t wait.

No one could imagine the pain, the torment that I have to go through every day. Knowing the fact that I killed my brother just to end this infernal nightmare that I lived for two years. No one would understand…

“I have to be strong,” I muttered to myself as pressed my hands on both my temple. “I have to be strong.”

I sniffed loudly as I released a long sigh. I will get through this.

I cleaned my tears and closed my eyes. Soon I found myself sleepily; I gist to sleep as the tears dried themselves on my skin.

* * *

My eyes opened slowly as I groaned. I didn’t want to school. It was pain to be in the senior year and with most all graduation was only weeks away. Too much pressure was around both my shoulders. I couldn’t wait for this to be over.

I inhaled deeply as I got up from the warm bed and into the freezing air. Exhaling while shivering I grabbed my towel and slipped my feet to my slippers and walked towards the bathroom to take a quick shower.

After taking the shower I walked to my room, but stopped at the door way. My dream suddenly slapped across the face. I frowned looking down remembering. I raised my head and looked to my right side where Aaron’s room had been once.

The door was locked since the incident. My mother had it locked, using another key to be able to open the door. She threw away that key and never once spoke of it.

I stared at the door as if it were going to open by itself. I smiled to myself thinking of how stupid this was.

“It’s only a nightmare,” I remind myself as I walk towards my room to change into comfortable clothes. I smiled wide thinking how lame I was.

Before I realized it I was running towards school with Matt besides me. We were both gasping for air when we reached our first period class.  He gave me a scornful look while I gave him an apologetic one.

“I see you remembered you had school, Miss Burke and Mr. Demure,” Mr. Tate stated bluntly. “Sit your butts down and take out your textbooks to page six.”

We did as he ordered and took our seat at the back of the class.

“Why were you late?” Matt whispered to me as soon as we sat down. I turned to look at him, but he was staring at the teacher.

“I slept late,” I lied. He turned around and stared at me not believing.

I looked away before my eyes could betray me. “I did –I was doing theater homework.” Matt crocked his head to the side seriously. “What?”

“Nikki we didn’t have homework,” he seriously stated. It was true; I mentally winced at my mistake.  “What’s the matter?”

I shook my head as I grabbed my textbook from the basket beneath the seat. “It’s nothing.” He didn’t want to leave the conversation alone.

“Tell me,” he quietly said. He hesitated choosing what words were the best to say. “Did you…did you dream about Aaron?” My body tensed with the last word being spoken. It took my body seconds to respond. My voice was lost, but my head meekly nodded. I didn’t dare to raise my gaze towards him for fear I would burst crying.

He placed his hand on top of mine and wrapped his fingers around mine giving me a gentle squeeze.  I smiled as a tear escape from the corner of my right eye. I wiped it with my long sleeve.