The Angel of the Ocean

Love

His words took minutes for my brain to process. He continued to speak, but I was no longer able to hear the muffled sounds. My mind was still trying to process what he had just said. 

Love. 

What did he mean by love? I was aware of several couples in my peer group and the numerous crushes held by students; although I myself had not yet succumbed to feeling an attraction towards any of the boys I knew. However, he had said love; that small word which holds more weight in its four letters than any other word. It had the power to melt the hearts of even the strongest people. 

"What do you mean when you say you loved her?" The need to find out more about the mysterious boy had evaporated. Each question that I had previously had was replaced by ever multiplying questions.

"Drew was my world. She was the only one I could be myself with." He stopped fighting back the tears and they slowly eased their way down his face, leaving a light stain in their wake. "We may have only been together for a few months, but she truly was the love of my life."

"Together?" I pressed him. None of this was making any sense.

"Yes, I asked Drew out several months ago because I knew she was special."

"No," I cried, the sound coming out even angrier and louder than I had expected it to be. "You're lying. Stop lying!" I screamed, my body desperately wanting to run. Zach didn't speak, he just stayed still, staring at me. It was as if he had expected that reaction from me.

"Look I know it's hard for you to understand Emilia, but I just wanted you to know that there's someone else out there who feels the pain that you do."

"You're lying. You have to be." My legs felt weak and my body felt like a huge weight as I crumpled onto the stony ground. I barely felt the sharp stones beneath me digging into my knees. "Drew told me everything so I would have known if she had been with someone." Other than the odd celebrity crush Drew had never even mentioned liking someone.

"It's complicated," he began. I forcefully shook my head in a bid to silence him. Inside my head my thoughts were screaming at me. My brain was replaying each and every moment that I had spent with Drew trying to comprehend it. "Look I can't really explain it to you, but trust me I loved her just as much as you did."

"How did you really know her?" There was no masking the irritation in my voice. My words were angry, almost resentful to the stranger who was standing before me.

"I'm not lying Emilia. Almost a year ago she helped me when I was in a really tough situation and over time we got to know each other. She made me ridiculously happy and it was as if I could forget about all my problems when I was with her. Her smile was infectious, it was impossible to look at her and remain sad." A slight smile began to curve at the corner of my own lips as I thought about how beautiful hers was. "I knew that things weren't going to be easy between us, but she was perfect in every way to me. I desperately wanted to spend the rest of my life with her even in those early weeks and months. Finally, I worked up the courage to ask her out and she said yes."

"I don't understand. I was her best friend, she told me absolutely everything," I said in a whisper. I felt as if speaking any louder could push my roaring mind over the edge.

"I know, look it's complicated to explain. She told me everything about you though Emilia. She told me about your first day in school together, about how you were always there for her. Drew desperately wanted the two of us to meet."

"Why didn't we so? If you were really that important to her she would have wanted her best friend to know." He closed his eyes and pursed his lips together as if my words had physically hurt him.

"I wanted to, but I just couldn't risk it. Opening up to Drew was a big enough risk on its..." He stopped speaking. The worried look flooded back into his eyes as if he had stepped over some invisible line; crossed over no man's land and into dangerous territory. "Look I shouldn't even be speaking to you now, but she told me about her promise to you and I know how much ye meant to each other. She will always be there for you Emilia. Eventhough you won't be able to see her, she'll be beside you, smiling brighter than anyone else at your high moments and helping you get through your low ones."

I could hear the engine of a car outside on the road and moments later I heard the familiar crunch of the leaves beneath my mother's shoes as she made her way up the lane way of the house. Zach heard it too and his head swiveled anxiously in the direction of the noise.

"Look I really have to get going, but just remember what I said. Okay? She would hate to see you as upset as you have been recently."

"Wait, I need to talk to you," I exclaimed.

"Maybe some other time, but right now it's too dangerous," he took several steps away from me before stopping and turning to face me. "Emilia? Promise me one thing though."

"What?" My mother was now in the edge of my view. She tilted her head to the side in a questioning look at me, clearly she had spotted Zach.

"You can't tell anyone about anything I just told you. I know you don't understand, but just trust me, don't mention anything about me or our discussion to anyone, for your sake as much as my own."

Before I had a chance to even answer, he had turned and began jogging down the path that was perpendicularly adjoined to the side of our house. His head was down, staring at the ground. 

"Who's the boy?" my mum laughed. She wiggled her eyebrow jokingly at me. "Is my little Emilia spending some alone time with a handsome looking boy?"

"No... I'm not," I stuttered.

"That's not what it looks like," she sang.

"Just drop it okay," I yelled as I stalked into the house. My mother followed swiftly behind me.

"I was only messing Em, it's good to see you spending time with someone again. It's been a while since I've seen you spending time with people outside the family."

I had stopped listening to her words as I went straight to my room and slammed the door behind me.

How could he tell me information like that without giving me the full story? And what did he mean when he said it would be dangerous for me to speak about him to other people? If he was unwilling to give me the answers to the questions that I had how else would I find out the information that I needed?