Yes indeed YES INDEED! A Naruto fanfic has been chosen for our first critique. Naruto was the first anime we watched so it only seemed appropriate. We'll be scouring Wattpad for gut-wrenching Mary Sues to add to this book of atrocities. So prepare y...
"Thank you, Nagato..." She says barely above a whisper, closing her eyes are her last remaining tears fell.
Wha...her two month old baby just went missing! A mother would not calm down about that in the span of five minutes. She would be hysteric. She's literally like this;
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They didn't even search outside of the house. Just walked around the rooms and went "Oh well! I guess Nagato is going to have to look for the baby on his own because I for some reason can't do it herself!". Her reactions are a bit unrealistic.
The Prologue ends with Danzo taking the baby to join his ROOT program-whateverthefuck. Why he would go out of his way to take Konan's baby is still a mystery. He also renamed her Itami, which means Pain. I mean...
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It's not like a character with that name already exists...
Moving on to Chapter 1
Ai/Itami POV
The forest's only sound was the trembling of the rogue ninja before me, my paper wings spread out behind my back, reaching six feet length.
"Y-you're the Angel's-" He was cut off by a hand, filled with lightning nature chakra, being pierced into his heart. "F-flower..." He finished weakly, coughing up blood until he was unceremoniously dropped to the ground, revealing a silver haired man, his hand dripping with blood.
"You're quite well known, Itami-chan." Kakashi, one of my old friend, pointed out slightly teasing.
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