Restless

Drunk Epiphanies

Alright, so tonight my mom had a couple of glasses of wine, and she's pretty funny when she drinks. Tonight though, I learned some interesting shit that isn't usually uncovered.

First of all, my mom doesn't drink a whole lot. She's in charge of the craft bazaar at our parish though, so to celebrate being done with it, we went to a local pizza joint. And, my mom had some wine.

Somewhere along the dinner conversations with the other couple with us and another lady, we came across me as a child.

Now, I was a strange child. I knew that already. I was an extremely picky eater. I had to go to a food psychologist because I wouldn't want to try new foods. I was that strange.

Anyways, my mom was telling her friends how they had no idea what to really do with me when I was a kid since I was their first. They were too afraid to give me table food because I didn't have teeth, so they kept feeding me jarred crap until it was basically too late. Apparently they would try and feed me table food, and I'd be like nah I want my spoon. My mom said that they didn't realize kids could gum food.

So, I realized that it's my parents fault that I was so weird with food.

That was the first epiphany.

Then, the topic flowed to binkys. And I said that I remembered losing mine on an airplane, and my mom said "Yeah, you looost it."

Bam.

I was like I never lost my binky, did I? I literally had tears in my eyes. My parents made me believe that I had lost my binky on an airplane when I was little, and I loved my binky.

That was epiphany number two.

Those are minor and kind of silly things, but it's epiphany number three that's the most interesting.

My mom told the two ladies how I have a boyfriend now, and they were discussing this and that about my relationship. All the "Really?"s and "Where does he go to school?"s. To put my mom at ease I casually said, "It's not like I'm going to get married to him."

At that, my mom kind of gasps, and I have a quick panic. Like shit, did I say the wrong thing? Was I not supposed to say that? Did she expect me to marry this kid? Because I don't.

But then mom said, "You're not gonna get married?"

I said, "To him. I said not to him."

She was like oh okay and was super relieved.

But that made me think. My mom seemed so surprised and, dare I say, slightly horrified at the thought of me not getting married. That begs the question: "Do I have to get married?"

I never really thought it was such a big deal until now. Tonight proved to me that my mom expects me to get married. I don't like thinking that far ahead personally. I've understood and accepted that maybe I'll get married and maybe I won't. I know that I'll be okay either way.

I just don't understand what makes my mom want me to get married so strongly. I would still be just as successful. I'd be just as happy. I'd be okay.

I don't know if it's a different way of thinking since she was born in different times than me or if it's something deeper.

So, while I learned a couple silly things about my childhood tonight, I also gained some interesting insight into the oncoming future. I'm not exactly sure how big of an impact it'll actually have on my life, but it made me think.

I know one thing though.

I enjoy drunk epiphanies.