Before I Lose Myself -Lashton-

Chapter Six

3rd Person

Luke lost his chill when he got the message from Ashton. The only thing that was running around his head was that he was going to lose the love of his life. All the shit that has occurred within the past few years, he never meant for it to go this far. His first instinct was to call Ashton's mum.

Anne: You need to head home.. I understand you're at work right now; but, I think Ashton is going to.... kill himself.. I'm on my way from school and I'm driving as fast as I can... Please come home, I can't lose him..

Luke was trying to keep his composure as he was speeding through the intersections and was almost hit multiple times. With much surprise, he hadn't seen red and blue in his mirrors yet and for that he was very thankful. By the time Luke had arrived at the Irwin household, Anne was on the front porch in hysterics.

"Anne?" Luke's voice was quiet and hesitant as Anne looked at Luke with anger. The flames in her eyes were growing and her ears were basically pouring steam. Luke's heart began to race as Anne came at him.

"You. You caused my little boy to do this!" Luke was cowering and the police had to step between them as she was about to injure Luke. Luke watched as they rolled Ashton out of the house on a stretcher. He went to run to him, but they stopped him.

"I'm sorry sir, only family." Luke began to cry now as he climbed back into his car and followed the ambulance. The sirens were blaring in front of him as they got into the emergency room. Luke ran after them through the sliding doors. They shoved through the doors heading to the ward.

"Shit, is Ash okay?" Calum walked through the doors with a crying Michael on his arm and an upset Niall behind them. Luke just shook his head and tried to hold back the breakdown that was building, but he couldn't. This could be the end of Ashton as we know it.

Hours had gone by and no word from the doctors. Anne had gone home and so had the boys; however, Luke slept in the waiting room. Time passed, midnight, one, two, three. It wasn't until six the next morning that anyone came out.

"Irwin family?" Luke jumped up and ran to the doctor with a panic. He was praying for the best thing, but expecting the worst. The doctor's face was full of sorrow and disappointment; Luke was afraid that Ashton didn't pull through.

"Is he okay?" The doctor opened the doors to the ward and led Luke through a maze of white hallways that nauseated Luke from the repeated color and various smells. Luke was gazing into the rooms they passed hoping that one would be Ashton.

When they finally reached his room, he was completely unconscious. In a coma. The pills had caused minor trauma, but it was all up to Ashton whether he were to wake up or not. Luke sat down next to him and took his hand. His hand was still his hand, warm. Luke sniffled and tried to gain his composure once again before speaking.

"I know you can hear me, Ashton. I love you, and maybe you don't love me anymore. I didn't want you to do this. I never fucking wanted this. You are my one and only. I am so sorry I didn't treat you right." Luke sighed before taking the small velvet box out of his pocket and removing the ring from it. He carefully slid it onto Ashton's finger.

The doctors made Luke leave eventually, claiming it wasn't healthy for him to be waiting around like he is. Luke didn't want to go live his life without Ashton, because Ashton is his life. By month four of Ashton being in the hospital, he still hadn't woken up and Anne was considering pulling the plug on her boy. Luke begged her not to. There was still a hope he would wake up, Luke always said that Ashton was just waiting a bit longer.

8 months had passed and Ashton was just getting worse. His vitals were dropping steadily and his heartbeat was so weak. Luke was in tears every day and ended up flunking out of school. Luke hadn't entered the school since Ashton went into the hospital. He wouldn't even do the work online. Anne kept persisting that pulling the plug is the best option at this point, but Luke always refused. He knew that Ashton would be back.

One year. Luke had quit eating, stayed locked in his room, and flat out told Anne to pull the plug. This time, she refused. The doctors said Ashton was coming back. There was hope for the boy. He was going to be okay, but in the same day, he had multiple seizures. He went into cardiac arrest twice and went into heart failure. They built Luke's hopes up just for them to be torn down.

Luke left his room for the first time in months as he went to visit Ashton. He was still unconscious in the hospital bed with the wedding band on his finger. Luke sat in the chair next to Ashton's bed and slowly took grip of his hand.

His baby boy had been in a coma for a year and two months. He still looked as beautiful as before. His chestnut hair still hung across his face and the oxygen tube was placed gently on his cheeks. His hands were still warm and to much surprise he still smelled like Luke.

Luke began to cry as realized how pale Ashton had become. He was still Ashton, but he was dying. Luke found out that Ashton had written a suicide note and took a whole bottle of sleeping pills that he was prescribed for his on-setting insomnia.

Luke inspected Ashton's body carefully, looking at all the damage he had caused. Bruises littered Ashton's body even after over a year; his ribs had been bruised. Scars littered his skin some really old and some looked just over the year old.

"Ashton," Luke's voice was hoarse as he hadn't talked in a very long time. His grip on Ashton's hand grew tighter. "I know I never treated you right, but I love you. I've been hoping for you to wake up, but not while I wasn't here."

Luke let out a small chuckle and wiped his tears away. All he wanted was his baby back.

"I don't know if you can hear me now, but we're getting married in November. Well, if you ever wake up. If you don't ever open your eyes again, just please know this... I'll be seeing you not long after." Luke stood up, pressing a small kiss to Ashton's forehead. When he pulled back, he looked at the time.

11:11.

Luke sat down and closed his eyes, wishing as hard as he could. When he heard a familiar voice break the air.

"Luke?"

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And that's the end. If you guys want book two, let me know and give me title ideas because I have no idea what I would call the second one!! But thank you to everyone who read this story and possibly sent it to their friends. You all have been such great supporters and I'm thankful to know that someone out there appreciates my stories. Write you later :)