Dancing through life

Ricky's surprise and some reflections of the past.

AN: Before you read this chapter I want you to be aware of something. In this chapter there is a part where it goes quite dark. I hope it isn't too much. Please tell me your opinion about it. So I can take this into reference for my future chapters.

The next day arrives and I'm pretty exited, I spent the whole night wondering what the surprise could be. At seven I can no longer stay in bed, so I get up, shower and get dressed. At 8 I sit in my small kitchen having a bowl of cereal. I really don't know what do expect? It could be everything. I sigh and put my bowl away after I finished eating. I walk aimlessly through my apartment till I decide that I need something which will kill some time and take my mind of the surprise. So I grab my guitar and start to play some songs.  I haven't realized how much time I have spent just playing music but suddenly there is knock on my door. I wonder who it could be. When I open the door I am really stunned. There standing on my doorstep is Ricky grinning from ear to ear. He steps closer to me, kissing me on the cheek and whispering: "Surprise." He takes a step back and laughs at my impression of a goldfish. I don't know what to say so I just take a step to the side to let him get in and close the door after him. When I find my voice again I say: "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in Leeds?" He playfully puts his hands over his heart and answers: "Oh that hurt. I thought you would be happy to see me. But I can go if you don't want me here." I can tell that he is only half joking so I step forwards to him pulling him into a big hug whispering: " No please don't go I am glad you are here. I missed you but then you already knew that." I hide my face in his chest so he can't see the blush that covers my cheeks. "I am really happy to see you, but what I meant was. Aren't you supposed to be in Leeds to do some work with the band? I don't want to hold you back from something more important than me." He shakes his head smiling at me " You really don't get it, do you? You are important to me, really important, look I'm here to take you back with me to Leeds, so you can meet the guys. The rest of the band was so jealous of Si, that he has met you. They really want to get to know you, they are very curious after all the things I have told them about you. So please say yes and come with me I think it would be fun to spent some quality time together. Just pack a bag and off we go." He is out of his mind, he has gone crazy, yeah that must be it. He can't really mean it. he drove all the way here to get me and bring me up to Leeds, to meet the guys? No one has ever done such a sweet thing for me. "Are you serious? You really want to take me to Leeds? Won't I bother you? I don't want to interrupt anything and I don't want to be a burden to you." "Skye stop. You're rambling, you are no burden and I'm serious I'd love to take you to meet the guys. They really want to meet you and we don't want to disappoint them, do we? Go pack some clothes for a few days everything is already sorted."  I don't want to disappoint him or the guys so I turn around and head to to my bedroom to pack. I shout above my shoulder to him to make himself at home coffee is in the kitchen. 

Twenty minutes later I am ready and return to the living room to see him sitting on my sofa with a coffee in hand looking very domestic. I smile to myself and think if anyone would have told me a few weeks back that Ricky Wilson would be sitting in my living room drinking a coffee waiting on me to take me to Leeds, because he missed me and wants me to me the guys and spent time with me. I would have told them that it probably is time to get some pills and book a visit with a therapist. But it is real. I am not dreaming. I think Ricky must have felt my eyes on him because he looks up at me " You're ready? Have everything you need?" "Just one more thing." I turn around and head into the kitchen. i just remembered my script book. It is just a silly black book where I write some thoughts or just everything that is going through my head down. Some of this things in there could be a song I had a tune in my head as I wrote them. It is almost like a diary of some sort. At days when my head is just too full of everything it certainly helps to write some things down, just to get them out of my head. It is my little secret no one knows or has ever seen it. I grab it from the kitchen table and shout to Ricky that I'm ready. We meet at the front door and he notices the book in my hand. "What's that?" He motions to the book. " Oh that. That is nothing." I quickly place it in my bag and turn to walk out the door. But a hand an my arm stops me. " Please let me take your bag." " It's alright I've got it. You don't have to." But he just takes the bag from my hands and proceeds out the door to my car. I sigh close the door and lock it. Gentlemanery is certainly not dead. He opens the car door for me and helps me in. he rounds the car to his side settles himself in the drivers seat. The drive up to Leeds is very nice we talk about everything, from favorite color to favorite bands and just about everything that comes to our minds. I really open up to him which I wasn't able to do since Alex. 

Alex yeah Alex I let him in because I was in love with him. I even told him about my parents and the self harming. I showed him my scars. But he took advantage of my trust. He just used me to get to my friend Ashley. And then he cheated on me with her. After that, one night I found out he talked about me behind my back he even told others about my secrets. I overheard him saying how disgusted he was by my scars and that that was the reason he cheated because he couldn't bring himself to touch me. So it really was my fault. Hadn't I done what I did to myself then he wouldn't have cheated. He also said that I just did it to get attention. Because I wasn't good enough at anything to get attention through that, like normal people. I felt so used after this I cried for days and I didn't leave my room for over a week. And when I did it was only to get a knife from the kitchen. That was the day the two big scars on my arms come from. I lost everything at the same time. My boyfriend, my best friend and my secrets. Everything was now in the open. And the people reacted the same like my parents did when they found out. They were very disappointed at me. Everything was just too much for me, I couldn't stand it The thought that the only person in the world who I thought loved me, didn't love me at all and thought this things about me. I was so lonely I had nowhere to turn all options were gone, no one to talk to. So I turned to the only thing I knew would me help me now and that was cutting myself. But these small cuts just didn't do it for me on this day. So I made two larger ones, very large ones. but these cuts shouldn't end my life I didn't want to die. But it felt so right when I saw the blood draining out of my body taking all the hurt and the pain and the anger with it. it felt amazing. Soon I started to get dizzy but I didn't care because for the first time in days I felt relieved. But lucky for me my sister found me and called an ambulance. The doctors in the hospital said I tried to kill myself and I needed therapy because I'm depressed. But the truth is I really didn't try to kill myself. I didn't want to die I just needed the pain to keep me sane but they didn't believe me. I was sixth month in the hospital because they didn't want to understand me. So I changed my tactics three month in because I just wanted out. I told them all they wanted to hear. After I was released from the hospital I told my parents I would move out and away because I needed a clean start. That happened five years ago and I'm still not completely over it. I have major trust issues, but who wouldn't. So I can't believe I am here opening up to a man I have only known a few weeks. But he just has a way of talking to me that I think he really cares. 

I was so deep in thoughts I haven't realized, we already arrived in Leeds. We stop in front of a nice looking house just in the suburbs of Leeds. "We are here Sky. Everything alright with you? You were awfully quiet the last 30 minutes of the drive. I hope you're not regretting it." I lay a hand on his arm to reassure him. " No Ricky I don't regret it. I was just lost in thought. Is that your house?" I try to change the subject. He nods. "It is absolutely beautiful. Are we going inside?" " Yes come on follow me." He opens the door and gets out of the car, I follow suit. He grabs my bag from the trunk and I follow him to the door. He opens it and lets me go in first. So this is where he lives.