Crossroads, A Jian Story || Book Two • HIATUS •

3.

Jc's nails were mere nubs now, chewed down as his anxious fingers tapped text after text.

Ki.

Text me back.

What did I do?

Like.. Other than fuck up our whole relationship

Fuck.

Jc's eyes lit up as he saw that Kian was typing. But as soon as a small flame of hope lit up inside of him, it was extinguished as he read Kian's response.

"I'm telling the fans that KnJ is over"

Jc frantically typed several texts, trying to convince him to give the channel another chance. At last, Kian decided he would give Jc until 2016.

Breathing out a sigh of relief, Jc plopped onto his bed. He needed to figure out what to do, and fast. He was still hesitant about posting his coming out video, but if he had to choose between that and Kian.. He would surely choose posting it.

He texted Kian: I'll post it.

Kian responded a few minutes later: Wait I'm comin over

Kian still hasn't agreed to moving back into the Jian house, but Jc was convincing him. What really got to him was the fact that Hazel couldn't stay at the small hotel he was residing in.

About ten minutes later, and several nervous paces back and forth in front of his *new laptop, Kian finally arrived. Jc still hasn't forgotten that when Kian found Jc's previous laptop, with the Coming Out video deleted, he stomped the shit out of it and then stormed out.

"So?" Kian stood in Jc's doorway, as he was very used to this house. He didn't look impressed at all with Jc's bold decision, he actually looked like he's been expecting it for awhile now. And if anything, he's disappointed that Jc hasn't come to post this sooner.

Jc gulped and sat down on his bed, laptop in hand. Kian sat down beside him, keeping his distance.

As Jc clicked 'upload', he anxiously grabbed Kian's hand out of habit. But Kian didn't pull back, he just held it comfortingly, his stony expression as apparent as ever.

The wait seemed to last forever.

Jc asked several questions, like what were people's reactions, etc. Kian was brutally honest, instead of sympathetic, and said that it would probably be worse for Jc than Kian because at least people expected Kian to come out. Jc was completely out of the blue.

Jc glanced at the screen, wanting nothing more than to cancel its upload, but he saw Kian narrowing his eyes at him, so he restrained from leaping at the laptop.

"If you want to cancel it, then go ahead." Kian said icily. Jc glanced at him and then at the laptop. It was now or never. Would he and Kian ever be the same anyways? Or would this just drive them even farther apart?

"But if you do," Kian began as Jc's hand drifted towards the laptop. "Then you lose me forever." He warned quietly. Jc froze, and stared at Kian in disbelief.

"Kian-"

"No, Jc, you're lucky I'm even giving you a second chance!" Before Jc could speak again, Kian continued. "Every day tears me apart, knowing that more and more people hate me than ever! I'm so alone! How can you not see how broken I am?" Kian was crying at this point, and Jc could barely ignore the urge to wipe the tears away from his face.

Kian gave a heart wrenching glare at Jc, and then got up and fled to his car. Before he left, though, he cast one final glance at Jc, full of dismay, and said:

"It's your choice Jc. Me or the world." Kian stated, walking out. He sat in his car, crying onto his lap because he knew that Jc would choose the world. Kian didn't compare to anything, let alone the world.

Just as he was about to pull away from the house that had so many good memories, his phone vibrated. Kian picked it up.

@jccaylen posted a new video: Coming Out

Kian gasped and dropped his phone.

Jc chose me. He chose me over the whole wide world.

Kian sprinted out of his car and into the house. He paused at Jc's doorway, phone in hand, and eavesdropped on what was apparently a phone call between Jc and somebody else.

"I shouldn't of done this Connor.." Jc sounded so worried, so afraid. Kian stood still, against what he really wanted to do: tackle Jc in hugs and kisses.

"Kian literally said the exact same things as you, and look at him! He's fine-" Kian realized that Connor was on speaker, as Jc was wiping away several tears.

"No, he's not! Have you seen his videos lately? He's a mess, and it's all my fault!"

"Jc,..." Connor coughed before continuing. "He would've come out even if you guys weren't together. He's gay, he would have to at some point. It's better to get it over with than wait. He'd be in more pain with this secret than he is now."

That's not true, Kian thought. I've never been so miserable in my entire life.

"And you know the fans are probably just salty because they're girls and they all love him. They'll get over it." Connor said confidently. I hadn't thought about that.

Jc sighed. "Fine." I heard scrolling from both Jc and Connor, who was still on speaker.

"There's.. There's like no hate at all." Jc's voice was pure disbelief, and Kian himself quickly checked his new video. He was right. Everyone was so supportive.

"That's probably because the fans still have a chance with you, in their eyes." Connor replied, less shocked. I felt myself get hot with anger.

All of this pain, and Jc won't understand any of it. I'm just as alone as before.

"Kian?" Jc stood up, just noticing Kian for the first time. Kian gave a small smile and within that second, Jc tackled him to the floor.

"I did it!" He cheered as he kissed Kian on every inch of his face. Kian laughed, trying to keep some sort of distance from Jc, but he was too happy to bother. After all, Kian can't blame Jc for not getting hate. He can't blame him for not understanding any of what Kian's going through.

Finally, Jc got up and picked up Kian. He threw Kian on the bed and crawled up beside him, cuddling into his side.

"I love you." Jc mumbled into his side. "I missed you so much."

Kian only grunted in response. Then he heard Connor, who was still on speaker.

"Jian is so real." He laughed. Jc laughed along with him.

"Yeah it is!" He agreed, before hanging up and turning the light off. He cuddled back into me and fell asleep instantly, but I couldn't.

I still felt... Incomplete. Somethings wrong, something feels wrong.

I thought back to what Connor and Jc said. Jian is so real.

Is it, though?

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1157

-ColorMeJian