Things You Never Knew

Chapter 11

Mom has been complaining about how I spent two days without sleeping. It's not that I don't want to. Hell, I fucking want to sleep, but whenever I shut my eyes she's all I see. I'd rather stay awake than thinking about the ways I can convince myself that I have lost my only shot of happiness.

"Tyler, I am talking to you." Mom scolds me the moment I search for a website in where I can buy some plane tickets.

I glance her way and she places her hand on her hip and purses her lips into a straight line. "I am worried about you, son." She tells me and I only sigh in response.

"I know, mom. I really do." I assure her. "But you don't have to worry. Really. I'm fine." It's one of the biggest lies I have ever told her, but she already has enough to worry about.

"I'll probably be going back to Boston tomorrow," I inform her and she stops sipping her coffee to look at me.

"Tomorrow?" She asks. I feel get eyes getting glossy and she faces the floor. I smile at her, get up from my place in the couch and sit down next to her.

"Mom, you can call me anytime you want and it's probably time I start working again. I really need to get my head busy once more." I say and she rests her head in my shoulder.

"The worst part of being a mother is knowing that you've gotta let your babies fly away." Mom says.

I smile and assure her that I'll come visit soon. She says she's going to make some coffee and I tell her I will go out for some time. I get in the car and I don't know why, I ring Cameron and when he picks up, I wonder why I did that.

"Tyler?" He says almost in disbelief.

"Hey, man." I sigh. I know he's working this hour and that I shouldn't have called, but right now, I need to talk to someone and he was the first person I could think of.

"Uh, what happened? Are you okay?" He asks me.

"Not really," I answer and run my hands through my hair.

"Do you wanna meet up?" He asks and my voice just cracks.

"Yeah, that'd be, ehm, that'd be great." I tell him awkwardly.

"Okay, man. I'm just gonna tell the crew here that I have some stuff to the care of. I'll meet you in the café in a half an hour, ok?" He says.

"Ok," I sigh. "And Cameron?" I bite my inner cheek.

"What?" He inquires.

"Thanks." I speak and he says it's no problem.

I drive all the way to the café, sit down and wait for him. It takes me some time to realize.

Shit, I lost her. She's gone. I can't say that I didn't know something like this would happen.

I had a feeling, but I chose to take the risk. I have to admit that in the beginning, I was afraid. I was afraid to love her. She was as stunning as a wildfire and I am nothing but a boy who loved the flames but was too intensely frightened to burn amongst them.

A waitress comes, asks my order and leaves shortly after. I unlock my cell phone and look at all the draft messages I wrote for her throughout these years. She has been present in my life through thick and thin and she does not even know it.

Some minutes later, Cameron parks in the front of the café, gets out of the car and walk towards my table. I still feel incredibly stupid for have called him, but he was the first person I could think of and he knows what I'm going through. I know he does.

He sits down and lets out a small smile.

"So," He says. "What's up?" He asks me.

"I-I don't know," I sigh, running my hand through my hair nervously. "She has me going insane." I tell him.

I'm the most vulnerable I've ever been in my life, it's a fact. I'm running to my ex archnemesis for counsil on a girl that used to be his girlfriend. Can things be more awkward?

"I knew this would happen," He tells me and I can sense that he's being honest. "Trust me, getting over this girl is one of the hardest things I ever had to do." He says and faces the floor for a moment. "I had to keep repeating to myself that we were just not meant to be and that she needed me as a friend. A friend and nothing more." He sighs.

"She told me that there was a part of her who would always love me," I whisper more to myself than to him.

"Of course she will," He tells me like I'm stupid. "You were her first love. You were the first boy who made her feel different. We don't forget our first love that easily." He says and I let out a deep breath.

"So if she loves me, why doesn't she give me a chance? I know I can make things work now. Holy fucking hell. I haven't forgotten her for thes four years. Not for a single moment." I speak. I sense there is a hint of depair in my tone of voice.

"Tyler," Cameron interrups me. "I know you feel like she is your world. I know that. I can see it whenever I look into your eyes. But you taught her how to see the world. You taught her how develop her own strenght even if you made it unconsciously. And hell, that is one of the best things you could ever do to someone, even if by doing that, you made her cry." He tells me and I start chewing my inner cheek out of nervousness.

"You helped her transform into the person she is today." He speaks and I see his eyes are shining. "And hell, she is a fucking outstanding person." He smiles. "You were the one who lapidated her, who prepared her for the real world she didn't know existed. You will always be an important part of her past." He tells me.

"Her past? I don't want to be only her fucking past. I want to be her future. I want her to be in my future." My voice cracks.

"Maybe right now isn't the right time," He says. He stays in silence for a moment. "Maybe it's just not meant to be," He mutters.

Almost automatically, I clench my fists and punch the table. Some people stop eating to stare at me but I don't give a shit about them.

"Don't you dare say that," I raise my tone. "I..." My breathing gets ragged. "I waited years to see her again and when I do, she's with another guy." I croak.

"Some things are simple coincidences," He says, facing the floor.

"I don't believe in coincidences. There is a reason behind anything and it's too much of a coincidence for us to end up living in the same time. In the same place." I murmur.

"You'll figure it out," He tells me and taps me on the back. "Maybe time is the only thing that's in your way," He lets out a friendly smile.

The waitress arrives with my order. He takes a latte and I take a hot cocoa and we both start talking about how I was just some stupid brown haired boy with an oversized ego and how wildflowers bloom in every crevice of everything she ever puts her hands on.

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I knoooow, this chapter sucked. Two more chapters and the epilogue is out! I can't believe I'm managing to finish this story. And oh, you guys are amazing and I love you guys and school sucks so much. I think that's all. I'll probably finish this book tomorrow and edit all of it tomorrow also. I'll try to. Oh, and I'm watching the Olympics rn and it's beautiful, but it's not also because they used all of the money that should be able to make the lives of the people better. Ok, I'm rambling. Anyways, you guys are amazing.

Love, Jas, xx.