Things You Never Knew

11

Draft Message.

To: S.

August 3, 3:26 pm.

I guess this is it. Today was the last time I saw you. I'm waiting for my tank to get filled. I'm on my way to Boston. It's bizarre to imagine that yesterday we were all in my house, together. He wasn't there and everything was jut like old times. Now I'm some hundred miles away from Sacramento and you are on your way to LA in a couple of weeks. While we were there, you told me you didn't know whta you wanted to do. You said you were going to try to find out who you were first. Find out what you wanted in order to find out what you wanted to be.

Hell, I wanted to tell you everything I never had the guts to tell you. I wanted to sit down with you and just chat like e used to. Talk about stupid things together. Talk about you. About me and maybe, about us. But the things that we most thing will happen to us are completely reversed when it comes to reality.

We only talked about our future. And it was clear that to you, I wouldn't be on it. But holy crap, how I wish I will be. We're finally going on our own paths. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. Perhaps a little of both.

The only one to blame was me and in my stupid timing. I found myself in a hell hole and it took me long enough to realize that I was the one who had dug myelf into it.

So when it was time to go, you glanced my way and smiled. I don't think I'll ever get that smile out of my head. You walked closer and hugged me. I hugged you back and some seconds later you pulled away.
I laughed and you wished me good luck. I wished you good luck.

And then the worst part came. You whispered a goodbye and so did I.

You were the hardest thing I ever had to say goodbye to.