Don't Let Go (The Walking Dead)

13- A Year Renewed

Chapter 13

(Prepare for a super long chapter)

I woke up the next morning feeling better than I had since before this all started. I was warm, my stomach was full, and most of all, I was safe. For the time being, I was completely, uninterruptedly, 100% safe. I could now honestly say that I would make it through the winter.

<<Fast Forward Another Two Months>>

It must have been a late snow fall because, before I knew it, the snow was gone. I guessed that it must have been somewhere between February and April. It's still pretty cold out though so I've hung onto my warmer jacket. The boots are gone though. The gift shop had a nice selection of shoes so now, I don't have holes in them! I've got a whole new set of knives as well! Words can't describe how beautiful they are. Just.. Clean. New. Sleek. Perfect. Also, as you may have noticed, by some miracle I haven't lost my glasses! The prescription hasn't changed either so that's good. I mean, I'm not blind without them but everything is a bit out of focus (A/N lol me in real life) so I just prefer to wear them all the time. I really hope they don't break. I was feeling really happy today. I felt on top of the world, like nothing could bring my mood down.

And then I remembered. If it's around the time I think it is, my birthday is soon or has already passed. I am (or will be) twelve years old. Mom would have been so proud. Her little girl growing up. I'll be a teenager next year. These past few months have been so quick, unlike the first few after Clary died. Those ones seemed to drag on for forever. I feel better now. I've mourned. I've moved on. I'm still sad about it but you can't dwell on the past. It won't change anything. Twelve years old always seemed like such a big number before this started. Now, it means nothing. My age doesn't determine how well I survive. I determine how well I survive. Well you haven't done very well. I found that gas station! I'm doing great. But you'll mess up again. Yeah, right! You will! Listen to me! You will mess up again! I'm done listening to you! Get out of my head! I've decided that instead of trying to block out that voice inside my head, I'll just deny it the satisfaction of making me sad or upset. It's not a real person, just my subconscious. That means I can do something about it. Anyways, back to my birthday. I guess I won't be getting a cake this year. No presents either. The clothes and safety that I have are presents enough. Sort of. I mean, I wish my parents were here. I wish Clary was here too. I think they would've gotten along well. Would I have even been very close to Clary if this didn't happen? I mean, we talked but we never really were all that close to each other. Ok I admit it. I wish I wasn't alone on my birthday. It may not be my birthday exactly but I know it's around this time somewhere...

It wasn't long before the frost was gone. It was still cold so I kept my coat but, no matter how much I loved the little home I'd set up, it's not safe to stay in one place for so long. For the first time in a quite a bit, I started to pack up my things. I had actually collected a lot from the scavenging I've done in other buildings around. My backpack was filled to the brim with food and spare clothes. I hit the road. The walk wasn't too boring today. There were buildings and plants to look at and I was finally realizing this affect the end of the world was having on the planet. Buildings were lined with vines and overgrown weeds. Yards that were painstakingly tended too were now overgrown. Animals were everywhere. If I didn't already have more than enough food, I'd be hunting. Deer were everywhere along with rabbits, raccoon's, and skunks. There other animals around that were best I avoid. These would include bears, wild dogs, and house-pets-turned-feral. I felt bad for them. Once upon a time, someone had taken care of these pets but now, they had to resort back to their basic animal instincts just to make sure they didn't starve to death. I had seen them in action. The poor things had turned vicious, tearing apart a rabbit in seconds. It was heartbreaking to watch and almost brought tears to my eyes. I kept going and made a mental note to never cross paths with them. I've been lucky so far so I'm hoping it stays that way until I make my way out of town. I've felt quite down lately. Just... sad. Maybe it's the loneliness finally setting in and taking over. I haven't seen any humans for months and good ones for even longer. I rarely talk. I've almost forgotten what my own voice sounds like. It's as if I've forgotten how. I felt like if I were to speak, I wouldn't be able too. It would come out dry and raspy. Maybe I should start talking outside of my head instead of inside.