Be the Sun

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At first glance it may appear too hard. 

Look again.

Always look again. 

"Father?" I said, poking my head around the door

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"Father?" I said, poking my head around the door. 

No reply of acknowledgment was heard. 

I slowly opened the door more, wincing at the creak that it gave. 

Cautiously I took a few steps in, waiting for any movement or noise to happen. 

I breathed a sigh of relief and headed to the kitchen. But I had let my guard down. 

Before I could react to the sound of running footsteps behind me, I was pinned down, Father on top of me yelling. 

"Where is she, Fayette?" He asked. His eyes were wild, frantically looking everywhere but at my face. Please don't look at me I pleaded in my head. 

"I've looked everywhere Fayette but she still hasn't come home! It's late! It's so late!" He screamed, tears freely flowing from his face now. 

I tried to reach for the needle in my back pocket. I should have had it out the moment I entered the house. 

Suddenly he looked down at me. I froze. No, my mind whimpered.

My father's tear ridden face lit up, and a smile came on. 

"Darling!" He said, leaning down and peppering me in kisses. 

"Where were you! I've missed you so much and now your here! We have to find Fayette and celebrate!" He jumped off me and started to swing his head around. 
"Fayette!" He yelled, "Guess who's here!" 

I took this chance to grab the needle from my back leg. While he was distracted I stuck it in his arm, pulling down and letting the clear liquid flow freely into him. Please work fast

He looked down at the needle in his arm. Realization hit him. It should hit him. I did this to him every day. And every time I braced myself for the moment. The horrible moment when it kicked in. 

His whole face sagged. His eyes dropped into hooded lids and his body hunched over like he had a block on it. 

He looked up at me with lost eyes. "Where is she, Fayette?" He whispered.

I took my father, the broken man, in my arms and let him sob on my shoulders. I let him sob there every day. 

"ssshhhhhhhh" I said in his ears, knowing though that by now, nothing I said or did would help. "It's okay dad, Its okay. I'm here. You still have me. We have each other. Mom wouldn't want this. She wouldn't want this." 

But nothing I said reached him.

He was gone. I don't know if it started the day she died and he did well hiding it, or if the madness had slowly sunk in. 

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