Falling For The Good Girl

Chapter 31- I Love You

Here it is, one of the hardest days of my new life, my birthday. Everyone looks at me like I am some ticking time bomb and I get it considering my breakdown a week ago. But I know that someday, just someday, I can fill the empty void that is my guilt.

I decided to go back to school today and I am not regretting it. Yes, everyone thinks that I am a ticking time bomb but I can't afford to miss anymore school.

"Happy birthday! I made you a cupcake" Layla says while hugging me. I roll my eyes and basically growl. "I said I was sorry-"

"Sorry can't bring him back" I spat while throwing the cupcake at her. I head to music class and sit next to Liam with a sigh.

"Happy birthday!" He gives me a kiss on the cheek and I shrug. "Thanks. It's not a big deal"

"After the amazing performance at the dance last week, I want to make your band a permanent thing" My music teacher says in front of the class to me.

"You didn't hear?"

"Hear what?" Oh no.

"Aiden... Aiden is dead, he got hit by a car the night of the dance" I almost choke on my sentence.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry I had no idea-"

"It's okay, m-may I have a hall pass?" Tears fill in my eyes, she nods and I run out. I run to the spot that I sat in on homecoming and I start crying.

"I thought I'd find you here" a voice that I recognize as Blake's says and I shake my head. "Liam texted me saying you left class so I got a bathroom pass and came to look for you."

"I thought that I could do this. I thought I could come back and everything would be normal but it's not. He's gone and now everyone looks at me like I'm a ticking time bomb. And to make matters worse, Layla thinks that everything is back to normal. I hate her, every time I see her I see the person that killed Aiden and that makes me want to hurt her. I want all the pain to stop, I want to be normal" I cry.

"I understand it hurts. But it will get better, Aiden wouldn't want you to be upset or angry at anyone, he would want you to live his life for him. You and I can still do our music. We can make a tribute to him and everything. Music is your passion"

"I give up on music it reminds me of that night-"

"Damn it Ivy! I understand you are sad, I'm sad about this too, he was an amazing guy and he did not deserve what happened but it wasn't anyone's fault. Not yours, mine, Layla's, nobody's. You have to stop blaming everyone and giving up on life! I'm sick of it-"

"Well I'm sorry that I am such a burden to you. I'm just grieving-"

"The death of your brother I know! I've lost someone too and they aren't coming back. You have to stop being sad and get over it because they would not want you to be like this! I don't want you to be like this! I want the old Ivy back! I want the smiling girl who always was happy. Come back" I chuckle.

"You see, that girl never really existed Blake. That girl was created as a false reality. And the girl you fell in love with is not her, she's broken toy. I understand if you don't want to put up with me anymore, nobody does but instead of lying to me just say it" I snap

"I didn't want to tell you this because of the Aiden thing but now I'm telling you. I found out that Mariana is my birth mother and that she kept me for a few years and then put me up for adoption. My mom was pissed once she found out that dad was seeing Mariana, she got drunk and tried to kill the both of us. I didn't want to tell you because my life is not important, it was about you-"

"Of course your life is important! How dare you say that-"

"Well why not Ivy, you say it all the time! You say that your life is horrible and all that but what about mine? Mine is as equally broken as yours! And I don't complain about it! But you-"

"If you are so concerned then maybe we should take a break" I spat angrily.

"Ivy-"

"Just admit it, it's what you have wanted probably for a while now and I don't blame you. We just need time for ourselves, we can do whatever you want, you can do whatever you want Blake. You're free" A tear falls down my face but I wipe it away. I get up and walk away.

"Ivy-"

"Blake it's for the best" I sigh and he shakes his head.

"Please don't do this" he begs with a tear falling down his face.

"I have to, it's the only way you can be happy" I go to walk away but what he says next makes me stop.

"You once said just because we smile doesn't mean that we are happy, it means that we are strong enough to go on. You're right. You put on a smile everyday to hide your real feelings and honestly I did too. You were the first person I ever opened up to and that made you special. Ivy I would do anything for you and you know that!"

"Blake I know, but life is too complicated right now. We both have our own stuff to go through and-"

"No. I will not let you leave. Everyone in my life has left me alone and I won't let you. I love you and I know that you love me and I can tell that this is not what you want. I don't want a small fight to ruin us, I want you to be mine forever" I chuckle

"Blake what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I want you to marry me" my eyes bug out of my head. "Blake we are only 18-"

"So we are technically adults-"

"Yes but still we are young and we still have a lot of things to work out. Ask me again when you feel the time is right and we will see what happens" I smile a little bit.

"I have hope. Now I have to get back to class before the teacher thinks I fell in the toilet. I love you" he gives me a kiss on the lips and walks away leaving me with my thoughts.