Selfish ~ Trevor Jackson

Take Two Steps Back

I was in the bathroom with Leanni, Kat, my sisters, and my mother. I was curling Leanni's hair in the mirror and Kat was examining Leanni's Moroccan princess outfit she wore and adjusting it a million times (she designed it). I sat the curling iron down and added gold glitter around her eyes. My phone was ringing off the hook, all texts from my assistant about the arrival of guests and performers, and I was trying my hardest to focus on my beautiful daughter while also trying not to cry. She looked so grown up.

Chris and Sean waited outside like security guards and I assumed Sean was giving Chris dirty looks the entire time. Trevor was the first to get there but I made sure he was hidden from Leanni as a surprise. She was so upset when I lied and said he wasn't coming, I couldn't stop laughing inside.

Anyway, Nicki was there, Aubrey was there, Aoki and Ming were there (Leanni's best friends), Jay and Bey were there with Blue Ivy, Miley (not Cyrus, Rev Run's youngest daughter) was there, so was Kim Kardashian's daughter, all of my brothers, Chris' family members, and a few other people that were really close with Leanni, Chris, and I.

"I can't believe you let Chris here, Deanna," my mother nagged. "He almost killed Leanni! He shouldn't be here! He--"

"Leave her alone, ma!" Isis shouted.

"Thank you. He is still Leanni's father," I replied.

"Well if it were me--" she started.

"I don't care if it was you. You should be lucky I let you come in the first place," I confessed, "I'd let Chris come a million times instead of inviting you once."

"Don't argue at Leanni's birthday party. Save it for later," Shelly reasoned. I saw my mother roll her eyes while I oiled Leanni's hair. The only thing keeping me from really flipping out was Kat's mumbling under her breath about cutting my mom; "She gon make me cut her. Forreal." Too much lol!

"Mommy, are you done now?" Leanni whined.

"I am now. Open," I ordered. She popped open her amber and green colored eyes and I nearly burst into tears. I whipped out my professional camera and began to snap pictures of her; both smiling and when she wasn't paying attention.

"Y'all ready to start this?" Kat asked. I nodded and everyone left the bathroom. When Chris caught a glimpse of his daughter, I could see tears glaze over his eyes. He held her in his arms and rocked from side to side whilst I took pictures of them.

"Happy Birthday, baby girl," he whispered giving her a kiss on her forehead.

"Thanks, daddy," she replied. I placed my hand on Chris' back and they pulled a part. I motioned for them to get a move on and escorted Leanni to the stage. I handed the camera to my assistant and we ran inside of the venue to watch Leanni's grand entrance that she begged me for.

The entire venue was layered with the most beautiful and authentic Moroccan decorations in the colors fuchsia, blue, and golden yellow. There were no American chairs or tables, only exquisite pillows and lowered tables with cups the size of shot glasses centered on them with a similar sized candle in the middle. All of Leanni's guests were scattered along the walls preparing to sit down and talking amongst themselves. I waved at a few of my close friends and then pulled out my phone to record everything.

"And now everyone, I present to you Leanni Arianna Brown," Kat said after everyone quieted down. Cameras rose up from all angles and areas of the room and a spotlight shone on the black curtain just like it was supposed to. The curtains pulled apart and she stepped onto the stage looking like a little Moroccan princess with her violet colored wrap and golden accessories on her body. I grinned and moved closer for better video quality watching as she waved at everyone and took the mic from Kat.

"Hi everyone thank you for coming to my party. The food should be coming right now, but I want to thank my mommy and daddy for giving me this party and being the best parents I could ask for," I wasn't expecting that. Chris and I both started to cry, "God bless you all and have a great night." We all applauded at an instant and the lights shut off. Right on cue, I thought. "What the..."

A spotlight shone on stage right and Trevor stood right there in a white tee shirt, black leather jacket, black skinny jeans, and black Supras. I heard every single little girl in the room scream on the top if their lungs and bum rush their way to the front of the stage. "I'm not sure how I feel about this," Chris whispered in my ear. "Same," I replied.

The lights flickered back on and Leanni had her hands over her mouth and she was crying like someone had just killed her dog. The mic was laying on the floor and was slowly falling off the stage because of her bouncing up and down in excitement.

"I ain't worried 'bout bein' cool. You're my girl so I show you off. And we may be young and foolish but that's the only way we know how to do it," Trevor sang. I couldn't even lie, my heart was fluttering and I was smiling uncontrollably as I watched him dance around Leanni.

I was almost envious of her position, getting someone so unbelievably gorgeous to sing to you and only you as if you're the only girl in the world. Getting kissed on the cheek and posing for pictures with him. *sigh* so attractive.

He sang two more songs Drop It and New Thang, both I had heard before, and took some pictures with Leanni prior to joining us for dinner. By then Justin Bieber had performed and Mindless Behavior was up next. I had taken so many pictures and recorded so much video, my memory on my phone was full before the night was even over.

"Did you like my performance?" Trevor asked into my ear. Leanni and her father were on the dance floor "busting some grooves", as his mother would say, to some Usher so Trevor and I were left alone while Justin got food.

"Yeah, it was dope," I said accidentally letting Brooklyn slip out of me.

"What do you think of my music?" He questioned.

"You exceeded my expectations," I replied nodding my head.

A wide grin spread across his face like wild fire, "I'm glad you liked it."

"I never said I liked it, I just said--"

"I exceeded your expectations, I heard you. But that just means you liked it," here he goes getting on my nerves, "You look beautiful by the way."

"What did you just say to me?"

"I said you're beautiful? I can't say that?"

"You can it was just... Unexpected,"

"I got you something,"

"It's Leanni's birthday. Not mine,"

"Yeah, but... I saw it when I was getting Leanni a gift and thought of you so I decided to just get it," I looked down and it was a gold necklace with a small charm dangling from it. The charm was a black rose with gold thorns on the stem. Honestly it was beautiful in a dark, twisted way.

"Thank you," I said with a small smile. He placed it around my neck, pushing my hair back to get a better view and slowly slid his hand down to my lower back.

"Take two steps back, Trevor," I commanded. I was starting to realize what was wrong about this picture and I didn't like it at all. He moved over some and retracted his hand, putting them up in defense.

"I appreciate the gift, really, but you're going too far," I stated. He nodded his head and told me that he understood. Leanni ran up to our table and pulled me up to dance to some song by Zendaya. I danced with her and Chris like it was no tomorrow while Trevor sat in the corner with a few of Leanni's friends taking pictures and signing autographs.

At the end of the night, Chris and Sean loaded the trunk with all the gifts totaled up from Leanni's party while my sisters cleaned up after everyone - just picking up plates and cups and throwing away other forms of trash. Seeing my sisters and my mom after all this time brought back awful, tearful memories causing to make it hard for me to look any of them in the eye.

"You're not gunna help?" Isis asked leaning on a broom. I pretended to be listening to music and sang a random song lyric whilst playing with my nails. "DEANNA!!!"

I looked up and snatched out a headphone, "Hmm?"

"I asked if you're going to help!" She screamed.

"Um no," I answered with a chuckle.

"Why not?!" Shelly questioned rolling her neck.

"I just got my nails done... Sorry," I replied waving my hand in the air.

"Excuse you? Just because you're Rihanna doesn't mean you don't have to act like you're too high and mighty for this!" Shelly shrieked. She had always been jealous of me and she had always been bold about it.

"Totes forgot how you are about my success," I said in a snobby voice. I hopped off the stage and waltzed to the door. "Look I'm tired so... Have a safe trip home." I blew kisses and pranced to my car.

"What happened I thought you were gunna stay to help?" Sean asked dropping his cigarette to the ground and stepping on it. I glanced up and wiped the tear that fell on my cheek and faked a smile.

"And I thought you were gunna stop smoking," I teased.

"I was gunna but... Leave it?" He questioned as he placed a hand on my shoulder.

I shook my head yes, "Leave it." I hugged him goodbye and then climbed into my car. He got into the passenger side and we rode home in silence.