Selfish ~ Trevor Jackson

What The F*ck Is This

The next day, I decided to make the day about Leanni and took her out with me to the nail salon. She sat next to me as close as possible with her coloring book and crayons in hand. She had finished getting her nails done before I did, I was getting a gel set which takes forever most of the time.

"When can I see daddy again?" She asked suddenly.

"I don't know," I answered. Her question struck a remembrance of her odd behavior towards Chris' new girl friend.

"Can I see him after school tomorrow?" She inquired.

"No, we have court soon. You'll see him then," I replied. The lady doing my nails looked up at me with this look of disappointment and I glared at her tauntingly. I wish she would comment about my life.

I looked back over at Leanni and looked at what she was scribbling on her paper. We were alone in the nail salon for the exception of a two other women in the massage chairs getting their feet tended to and one in the back getting some part of her body waxed.

I looked down at Leanni's arm and saw a small red mark showing through her skin. I squinted my eyes and tried to look closer, but was forced up and to the drying area. I kept looking back trying to get a glimpse of it, but couldn't.

I sighed and tried to focus on the song playing on the radio. I guess my eyesight was getting worse.

After Trevor left I never went to sleep, like I said I wouldn't. And Trevor called, he texted, he emailed, those things and I never replied. I just couldn't face him after that. He just left me high and dry and told a lie in my face.

I hated liars. If anything that was what I hated the most. Don't lie to me about what color the sky is, that's how strongly I feel about it.

When Trevor lied to me like that I was unsure of what to think or what to do. Lies don't work with me. If I didn't mind lies, I would still be with him. I started to think it would be a good idea to tell him how I felt, but what if he brushed me off with a simple "sorry".

Part of me said that was bullshit.

Trevor would apologize a thousand times and do things to show me that he means his sorry. I'm still stuck on the rejection, though. I have never been rejected and the fact that he of all people, I mean really he wanted me since the beginning, rejected me made me feel like there was something wrong with me. Was I inadequate? Did he just not want me? How could someone not want me? Ugh.

When I had finished drying my nails, it was Leanni's turn to get her toes done. She had picked a cute pink color to get her toes painted with black and white flowers on the big toe.

The woman turned on the water and cleaned it out with a bleach substitution then rinsed it out before filling it with a blue liquid that softens skin and removes dead skin cells.

Leanni placed her feet inside of the water and I joined her in one of the other massage chairs. I watched as the woman attempted to pull Leanni's pant leg up, but Leanni refused.

I furrowed my eye brows, "Girl, you'll get your pants wet. Pull 'em up." She looked at me with this scared expression and started to cry. "Why are you crying? What's wrong?" I started freaking out as I watched her swat the woman's hands away.

"She's hurting me!" Leanni shrieked.

"Get off of her!!" I bellowed pushing her away angrily. I picked up Leanni and rubbed her legs sliding her pant leg up to see if her ankles were okay. I saw a purple and blue fresh bruise on her shin and I gasped looking at it.

"You people are never getting our money again!" The people owning the store began to beg and plead with us in broken English whilst the woman attempting to assault my child tried to apologize and tell her side of the story.