Author's Side

07-29-16 (Friday)

They're here! ㅠㅠ

Dear Diary,

SHIZ. ANDITO NA SILA?! Sino? BANGTAN SONYEONDAN GUYSEUUUUUU ㅠㅠ

Iyak na ba tayong mga Team Hindi pinayagan, mga ARMYs? Gusto ko silang makita kahit saglit lang. Every second counts diba? Tama ba? ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Guyseuuuuu. Iiyak talaga ako. Ung feeling na ambigat sa pakiramdam. Like , "Yes, I'm finally breathing the same air as Bangtan." But then you'll realize that you'll miss a once in a lifetime chance. I badly want to see them, shout "Fighting Bangtan!" Or "Saranghae ♡" . Masakit. Sobrang sakit.

Though I wanna cry, ayoko namang masabihan na"Ang OA naman niya."

Tayo tayong mga fangirls lang naman ang nagkakaintindihan diba? Even we're from different fandoms, maski nga mga local fandoms, naiintindihan tayo.

They do not know the feeling of having someone as your inspiration. Lagi namang sinasabi na "Idol mo nga, mahal mo nga, Kilala ka ba?" Sakit.

Tas ang saklap ko pa. Kasama sila sa line up ng mga artists sa MBC this September 3. Ang MAS masaklap pa eh, 3 days before ng birthday ko yun. Parang nakakawalang ganang mag celebrate.

Maski Team labas okay na ako. Kuntento na ako. Kahit isang iglap lang. ㅠㅠ

Oa mang pakinggan, wala na eh. Naging parte na sila ng buhay ko. Corny ba? Corny mang pakinggan wala eh. Nakatatak na.

Kaya mahirap maging fangirl. Sabay wattpad reader ka kaya madami kang nababasang fanfictions about sakanila. Yung mga tungkol sa nagkakilala sila at ang fans nila tas naging sila.

Lagi kang nag aabang pag may rumors na may comeback sila, pag may album na silang nirelease lagi kang nangangapang bumili kahit walang pera.

Yung madaming nagbebenta ng ticket para sa concert nila pero di ka naman pinapayagan.

Sana makita ko na sila, that's my only wish. I want to meet them personally, hoping them to remember me as a special fan.

Fanmeetings? It's possible if you're living in the same country as them. But if not, then every tour (world tour) is your only chance and hope. Unless mag migrate or magbakasyon ka sa Korea.

I want to hug them. I really want to. But I'm too young to travel. Yung mga bagay na gusto mong gawin pero alam mong bawal. Yung gusto mong sumaya kahit minsan. Yung gusto mong kalimutan at i enjoy yung moment na yun.

Siguro pag lumaki na ako, Promise ko sa sarili ko na pupunta ako ng Korea pag nakatapos ako. Makikita ko din sila. Yun nalang yung pag asa ko.

Sabi nga ni Jessica, "Take your chance and try, You will never know."

Siyempre, madami paring chances. But that doesn't change the fact that you'll still need to wait, wait for the time that you'll be able to see them face to face.

While other ARMYs are having fun while waiting them in the airport, I am still hoping for a chance to see them.

Halos puro about sakanila ang nasa Wall ko. Lalong nakakaiyak. I really want to see them. I might sound so pathetic right now but I really want to sing with them in the concert, while waving the banners and lightsticks with my fellow ARMYs.

Pero ang payagan nga ako ay hindi ko maabot, makapunta pa kaya?

Sarap sanang mag mall sa hotel na malapit sakanila. Malay mo makita mo silang namimili.

Chances of meeting them seems to be as low as 0 percent. In short, it's impossible.

Masakit po. Sobra. I want to cry but my mom might think that I'm too obsessed with them. Though I'm quite obsess. But I can't avoid that.

The problems of being an iternational Fangirl with strict parents.

Album nga wala ako. Maski mga ID lace or pins or ecen posters nila wala ako. Kahit anong group. Maski Apink and iba pa wala eh. Tickets pa kaya.

Kung may magregalo talaga saakin ng album nila masaya na ako. Kontento na ako.

Pero wala eh. Anong gagawin ko? Iyak lang kaya kong gawin at wala nang iba.

Masakit as in. Parang gusto mong umiyak sa sobrang sakit. Kaso sinong dadamay saakin? Wala namang nakakarelate saakin na pinsan ko.

Umaasa feels. But may possibility ba? I don't know. But one thing's for sure.

Even I can't see them, even they do not know me, I'll still support them and love them as much as I can.

Naiiyak na ARMY,
Alyana.