Pan's Redemption

Chapter 47 ~Monster*

"I know what living a long time feels like, being the Dark One and all," Rumple had said to him, "My point is," he started again after Pan had scoffed, "is that this way, you won't ever forget her. The coffin will preserve her. Maybe not in the healthy way you remember her to be, but at least she'll always be there."

No words could describe Pan's fury at Rumple's apparent 'kind gesture'. This way he truly would never forget.

"Pan?" Felix's voice sliced through Pan's thoughts. Pan stared, not wanting to say anything.

"Do you want to say anything to her?" Tink asked.

Pan looked at the three pairs of worried eyes for a moment in silence and then chuckled, "Come find me when you get the meat roasting on the fire."

Pan retreated to the same place he had been sleeping for the past two weeks: Skull Rock. It gave him the feeling of déjà vu from when he was told he had found his heart of the truest believer. It took him to another place in time. A time where the girl was breathing, her heart was beating, and he felt more alive than ever. He had went about two whole days without touching any food or water before Tinkerbell declared he wasn't allowed to go back to the cave without eating something.

She was worried about him, and he hated that. He hated feeling fragile, even when he wasn't. Hated having pity feelings directed at him instead of terror. He didn't want to be the notorious villain everyone cried for.

The new relationships he had formed with Tink, Hook, and Felix gave him a sort of sick-to-his-stomach feeling. Without all the hate and resentment directed at each of them, and without a reason to like them, he didn't know what to do about them.

Was this how Neverland was supposed to work now? Pan, Felix and his fairy girlfriend, a bloody pirate, and a ragtag group of recovering-from-brainwashing Lost Boys sitting on the island shores waiting for the mermaids at Mermaid Lagoon to pick a fight with the great Peter Pan? Was he supposed to pick flowers, smell the ocean breeze, and live peacefully now?

How could one person alter his life so completely?

Pan looked at the descending golden sand crystals before his eyes. He watched as each one hit the rather large pool of sand below. He closed his eyes and concentrated, letting his mind do the math by when the last grain of sand would fall.

A little under three years left.

"I see you're in a tough situation, aren't you lad?"

Pan's eyes snapped away from the golden sand to Rumple, who was standing a few feet in front of him, "You can quit the formal talk, you've been talking down to me since our reuniting. I am your father, treat the man who raised you with a little more respect."

"The man who abandoned me?"

"That reminds me, how's Baelfire doing?"

"I wouldn't know," Pan smirked at this, enjoying this small victory after a great defeat.

"So what do I owe this pleasure? I never did get to ask the oh so many questions I had of you for showing your face here again."

"Well I heard you had my son, you see."

"I did, for awhile. You know what happened there."

"You're in denial, you know. This isn't normal for you is it?" Rumple laughed as Pan glowered darkly at him, "I don't think I've seen you like this since Evanna died. You don't have the booze to fall back to this time, I'm afraid."