Hope Kills (Completed)

Don't give up part 2

I stand in front of my full length mirror in my underwear. I look at my scarred and broken body. I have a scar that starts from the bottom of my ribs to the top of my belly button. I have another one that starts at the bottom of my throat and ends at the top of my ribs and the newest one is on my arm. It goes from my elbow to my wrist. My other arm is still covered in a cast. I guess I hurt it pretty bad. I'm not as weak as I use to be. I'm actually getting better and James is smiling more so I'm happier. I don't go to school anymore. It's not like I'm losing anything from that I was already smarter then everyone else.

James enters my room and cocks his head to the side. He shuts the door and walks up to me. He starts tracing my biggest scar with his finger. He lifts his eyes up to mine.

"You're beautiful you know that?"

I turn back and look in the mirror. My ribs poke out a little to far and my lack of curves makes my body resemble a 12 year old boys. My hair has deluded somewhat and the bags under my eyes are very prominent. I'm ghostly pale and there's a big gap between my thighs. Too big. I'm so short that I barley go up to James' chest. People think that only girls with a little muscle have insecurities because they are 'fat' but that's not true. I've been made fun of for being skinny. I've heard girls calling me anorexic and bulimic but being skinny isn't even my fault. It's the cancers fault. And every little snarky remark that those jealous girls said reminded me that I'm dying.

Do you know what it feels like to slowly die for 5 years. To have the light sucked right out of your eyes. To have all the energy you once contained drained from your body. Well that's what it does to me. People say being shot or knifed or beat to a pulp is worse but they die quickly where as I am slowly dying and there's nothing I can do about it.

That's what these surgeries are doing. They are only prolonging the inevitable. It's like shooting someone in the leg. They are in so much pain yet they don't die immediately they die slowly. Yet they still die. Well most of them do. If you're shot in the head its quick and painless and over.

"I love you" I say quietly to him.

"Come on. It's late lets sleep." James says while he pulls me into the bed.

My back its pressed up against his chest . His warmth spreading all over me. His arms wrap protectively around my waist.

"Please don't give up." I hear him whisper into my ear as I drift off to sleep. I don't know why i say what I do next.

"I won't" My mumbled words are enough for James to wrap his arms even tighter around my bare stomach.

"Good."

And then we're both asleep.

I'm awaken by my mothers screams. James can hear them to because he's awake now as well. Her screams are louder then usual and then I realize shes in my room.

"What did you do to her?!" she yells at James shoving him away. She has a wild look in her eye. one I've never seen before. I then figure out what shes going on about. I'm only in my underwear and James is just in basketball shorts. sh**.

"Mom it's not what you think." I say still a little weak.

"Not what I think?!" she screams in my face.

"My daughters a slut!" She sounds disgusted by me. Im too tired to fight with her.

"We didn't sleep together Ms. Accola" James should of just kept his mouth shut and let her continue on with her rant.

"Don't LIE to me!"

"Mom if anyone is a slut here, it would be you." I say softly.

I didn't really expect what happened next. I didn't even see the hand that was flying towards my face. But I did feel the Extreme pain in my cheek. I fall to the floor no longer able to hold up my weight. James grabs my mothers wrist and looks her in the eye.

"Don't. Ever. Touch. Her. Again." I've never seen him look so scary. My mom looks legitimatley scared before she stands up a little straighter and walks out of my room with the little dignity she has left.

James picks my up and sets me on the bed and then goes into my closet.

"What are you doing?" I croak out at him.

"Getting you clothes. We're leaving"

And so we do.

He dresses me in Pre-makeover Candy clothes. And we drive around all day. We laugh and talk and smile and for once it's like we're a normal couple. No hiding. No cancer. Just me and James.

Eventually we end up at a bowling alley. I don't know how he expect me to bowl but I don't question him. When we get inside I realize why he brought me here. Sandy and Caroline and the rest I our friends are here. I haven't seen them in awhile. Back when the pain was worse the only person I allowed to see me was James. He was the only one I allowed to see me weak.

"She's here!" I hear Ronnie say. I shake my head at him while I chuckle softly.

Next thing I know I'm being bombarded with hugs an questions and smiles and laughs. It's a bit overwhelming but James doesn't let go of my hand once.

"We missed you so much!!!" Caroline and Sandy practically yell. I can't help but laugh at their enthusiasm.

"What happened to hot candy" Ronnie pouts. I know he's only reason me because he gives me a bear hug anyway.

"She's right here." James says smugly. Does he say it smugly because I'm all his? I think so.

Jake envelops me into a hug as well.

"The life of the party has arrived." Jake yells while laughing.

We all walk over to the alley they've set up.

"How do you expect me to bowl?" I ask him with a raised eyebrow.

"You'll see." He says with a smirk.

James pulls me onto his lap as everyone finds a place to sit. I kiss his cheek lightly. He mouths to me 'I love you' and the blush returns although this time it isn't because of the cancer it's because James can say the sweetest things that would make any girl blush.

"Your turn Candrola!" Ronnie teases. I send him my most menacing glare.

"Call her that again and i'll beat your #@?!" James says in a half joking half serious tone.

"Ooo better be careful Ron. You know how James is when it comes to Candy." Parker laughs out.

Ronnie mumbles something under his breathe. I have a feeling it wasn't very nice.

James helps me walk over to the alley. I grab the smallest bowling ball and James comes up behind me. One hand rests on my waist while the other holds the bottom of the ball, taking most of the weight from the ball. He guides my arm back and then forward. I release the ball at the perfect time, getting a strike. Everyone cheers. I jump up into James's arms and kiss him on the lips.

"Ewww get a room!" Ronnie yells childishly.

"Will do!" James yells back. I gasp.

"James!" I scold. He just sends me a boyish grin. He pulls me back onto his lap resting his hand on my thigh.

"Your last surgery is in a few weeks." He says. I can't tell if he's happy or upset about it.

"Let's not talk about it." The last thing I want to be doing is talking about my cancer.

"This is the riskiest one." He continues. He doesn't have to tell me. I know the percentage is only 20% survival rate. I'm aware that this is probably my last couple of weeks with him.

"James." I say tiredly.

"Yes?" he asks.

"Shut up and kiss me." Lets just say he didn't have to be told twice.