Ever since mine and James's first kiss we've been sneaking around everywhere to have some "us" time.
We still haven't told anybody and quite honestly I don't know what we would tell people anyways like oh me and James kiss, but we aren't dating.
Another thing James and I agreed on: No dating. Just kissing and cuddling. I think dating just complicates things, makes it feel more real.
"Hey guys." I say to everyone at the lunch table as I take my seat next to Jake and James.
"Okay so I've officially decided on a dress for prom." Sandy exclaims excitedly.
"I'm not going." I say nonchalantly.
"What?! You have to go. I'm forcing you to go." Caroline screeches.
"Well you're going with Ronnie and you're going with Parker," I say as I point at Sandy. "so it just seems weird that I would go by myself." I state, shrugging.
"You wouldn't have to go alone. You could go with James!" Sandy says.
James and I talked about it and we both agreed it would be a bad idea to go together. We know it would take a lot of willpower to keep "us" a secret and I much rather spend the night with him in my room, watching Disney Channel.
"Oh um I can't. I have family stuff." James tries to make a lame excuse, but he says Parker and Ronnie have picked up on his secretiveness.
"Ditch them and ask your mystery girl to come." Parker suggest.
"Ooo what mystery girl?" Sandy says with interest lighting her eyes.
"Me and Ron are convinced that James has been seeing this girl but he's keeping her from us." Parker pouts out his bottom lip.
"Well I could go with you if you needed a date?" Jake asks me going back to our previous conversation.
I don't know why but all of this prom stuff is getting on my nerves. I mean the cancer definitely isn't helping with the mood swings.
I stand up out of my seat and bang my hands on the table.
"I don't want to go to the freaking dance! I'm too busy dying and taking care of my mother to go to a stupid dance where all you do is move around a smelly gym, eating tasteless food while drinking a spiked punch! And excuse me if I'm not in a happy mood all the time because like I said before I'm too freaking busy worried about whether my cancer will spread to my brain rather then worried about what color dress looks best on me." By the time I'm done shouting the whole cafeteria is looking at me.
#@?!
Now they all know.
So much for keeping it a secret.
"Sorry." I mumble. "Cancer." I explain my little anger moment. I don't know why I feel the need to explain myself, I just do.
I turn on my heel and walk away. I can hear people shouting my name, but I don't stop I keep walking until it turns into a full on run. I run out the school doors and continue on until all I see is random houses and random street numbers.
Okay so maybe I overreacted. I blame the cancer. I can do that right? I mean it is killing me. I get the right to blame it for making me so emotional.
I pull out my phone and see that I have 3 texts 2 from Car and Sandy and 1 from James. I open his up.
Call me when you're ready to talk. I'll pick you up. -James
I pull out my phone and text him the address and he's here sooner then I thought he would be. I get in wordlessly and he doesn't ask the stupid questions like 'are you okay?' I mean obviously I'm not okay.
YOU ARE READING
Hope Kills (Completed)
Teen Fiction"Do you know what it feels like to slowly die for 5 years. To have the light sucked right out of your eyes. To have all the energy you once contained drained from your body. Well that's what it does to me. It slowly kills me. And there's nothing I c...
