19. Risks

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Amelie's POV

Jim's beautiful, manly voice sounds pleasantly in my ears, as The Big Bang Theory plays on the television. My face is all soaked in dry and wet tears; old, ruined makeup; and a real, sharp pain. It is around 7 in the morning, and—of course—my eyes haven't shut since I woke up in the middle of the night recalling my actual, beautiful life. I am exhausted, though my mind is acting wild in horrible, energy-sucking thoughts about being forced to stay with Colin for the sake of Jim's life, and even though I close my eyes and try to rest for a while, I can't get myself to clear my brain and sleep.

I sigh, taking in a deep sob, as the episode finishes and the credits are on. With the TV now turned off, I look at the blank wall at the distance, and get myself to think about things that could actually make a difference, as I gently play with my half-heart shaped necklace. I shouldn't show Colin my greatest weaknesses, like being away from Jim is one. I should show him that even when I'm being forced to stay on his side I can walk with my head held high, strong and confident through life, and that I won't be giving in to his stupidities that easily.

I push myself from the couch to get up, and start towards the bedroom to get changed. I turn the doorknob slowly, and find Colin sitting on the bed with a bare core.

"Good morning...Amelie," he says, making me fire up with anger.

But I simply maintain my composure, and with a very cold and serious tone of voice, I answer back to him.

"Good morning," I say coldly, and turn to the drawers to take out the clothes I'll wear to work.

I don't speak another word, I simply take everything and head to the bathroom to change. I take a quick shower, fix my makeup, and put my light, gray dress on, followed by a black blazer, then head out my room with my phone and some papers in my hands. It's weird...being a writer for a magazine I mean. Now that all my memories are back, I know I'm a chemist/physicist, but being a writer is not bad at all; I'm actually enjoying it.

Colin is in the kitchen with the TV on in the news, and preparing two cups of coffee.

"Your coffee," he says, handing me the black coffee on the white mug.

I smile at him falsely, and take the mug in my hands, erasing the smile from my face as he turns away and rolling my eyes before taking a sip.

"Did you sleep well, darling?"

I feel a sudden shot of uncontrollable rage that starts rushing through me. How dare he ask me this question when he knows the freaking answer perfectly well??!! He knows I didn't sleep, and it was all because of him! That he is making my life a living hell! And also how dare he call me 'darling'!!! Who the hell does he think he is???!!!

"Colin," I start, trying to control my voice to keep it low and steady, as I put the mug down. "I am going to ask you in the best way possible to please quit calling me 'darling', and treating me like we love each other because we don't. I'll be pretending to be your wife as much as you want in public, but not when we're alone. I am also going to ask you to please let me move to the other room, so that we can sleep separately."

"HA!" he laughs immediately, as if what I said was the most ridiculous thing in the entire world. "Listen to me, daaarling. Remember that the one who sets the rules in this place is me, and if you're not willing to follow them then...you can leave, but Jim will blow up to bits and pieces, and you'll stay alive to suffer through it."

I stare at Colin with a total look of hatred and disgust, as I try to control the tears. I can't give in and show him that it hurts me as much as it actually does.

"I didn't say you will pretend in public, I said you will pretend...always. So I will call you darling, and you better call me that back. Ohhh...and you won't go to the other room, of course. Things happen when people are married, things you were very much delighted to do before you recalled what your stupid life actually is."

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