Unconditional (Book Two)

17. Golden Flames

Amelie's POV

I close the door of the house behind me, as Jim's car disappears in the distance. I have to stop fooling myself, and take the truth as it is...I am devastated because Jim left, and the only reason for that is because I have strong feelings for him that have been haunting me all day long. Colin is my husband though, and Jim leaving, even though it's crushing me, is a good thing after all, since I must switch my heart's mentality from loving him to seeing him as a really close friend...in spite of the fact that the only thing I want to do right now is run and stop him from leaving.

I slowly open the door of the room, and walk in. Colin is sleeping soundlessly already, and I really don't want to wake him up, since I can't afford spilling the answers to the questions he'll ask me if he sees me as upset as I am.

I don't do anything. I don't change to my pajamas, I don't wash my makeup off, I don't have the energy to do it, and, as I stated, I can't afford waking Colin up...I simply jump under the covers of the bed in devastation, just wanting to hide myself in a shell and think, think, think, get rid of the sorrow.

I turn my phone on with the lowest brightness and volume, playing the video of the supermarket, chuckling and crying. How is it possible to feel like this for a person after just one day? I wonder...and I can't explain. It's like if that feeling exploding inside of me already existed, but was trapped and hidden by something. There is a spark growing inside of me, and I'm longing for him. It is a dangerous feeling...a very dangerous feeling...but it loses that risk if he's not here, wrapping my waist with his arms, filling my body in kisses.

I let a tear roll down my cheek, as I feel my body giving up in exhaustion. I close my eyes, letting the energy-dropping thoughts disappear inside my mind, and turn into beautiful dreams full of feeling and devotion with a man I do recognize, I'm confused about, but appeared in my mind just the day back.

Jim's POV

As I open the door of my apartment, I notice that the luggage is ready, and so is Mayim.

"Hello, Jim," she says, grabbing her suitcase. "We should leave to the airport."

I try to hide my face from her, as I don't want her to notice the redness of my eyes.

"Yeah, we should," I speak weakly. "Thank you for preparing everything."

Mayim approaches me with sad and worried eyes, and rubs my arm gently.

"What's wrong?" she asks in a worried tone.

But I can't get myself to answer, I just look down at the ground, and shake my head.

"I'm fine," I say with a frail voice.

Mayim knows I'm not, but she doesn't push me to tell her what's really going on. She knows that sooner or later, when I'm feeling better, I'll be informing her about the way I feel.

I take my suitcase, and let Mayim out the apartment first, as I turn the lights off, leaving everything dark, and finally close the door behind me.

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I can see the airplanes taking off and landing smoothly in front of my eyes, as I stand next to the gate where we're departing. That small headache rushes through my brain again, and I realize I still don't know how airplanes are connected to Amelie...but these headaches have no connection to Amelie whatsoever, I really have to start removing this nonsense out of my mind.

There is a hole in my chest, I must be sincere. I love Amelie, and I'm worried about her, I'm worried on being away from her. Being completely honest with the way I'm feeling...Colin doesn't transmit me anything good. I can feel danger, pain, hatred, madness whenever I'm close to him. There is also an emptiness, coldness, and evilness in his dark, gray eyes that fill me with negative thoughts and emotions. I just really hope that these dangerous flashes building in my mind are nonsense as well, because I just wouldn't be able to bear with life if something happened to Amelie...I really should do something about this!! I can't continue feeling this way!! I must understand she's a married woman for God's sake! And I have a a girlfriend who's waiting for me in LA, who thinks I am in Washington because of work...but I can't deny also portrays that same sort of danger that is reflected in Colin's eyes.