Catching Tatum

Chapter 7

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'ON HOLD'?" my dad asked after I broke the news to them a week after college graduation.

"I mean what I mean. I'm taking a break for a while. I've been so focused on my future. I need to relax and figure me out. I don't know if I want to be a physical therapist for the rest of my life. I've been thinking about being a trainer, or ... I don't know, coaching. I'm not like Theo, I don't have a full-ride scholarship I have to use or lose; my money's gone. I have an AA, it's good for now. You're the ones always telling me I'm still so young." Theo picked up a four-year baseball scholarship the year he graduated and he and his girl, Kennedy, were studying at the University of Washington.

"You had thousands of dollars in scholarships; that one covered a full year," Mom reminded.

"It was for one year, Mom, and the others are all used up, too. I applied for more and grants. I didn't get any. I'm done unless I want to get a loan. And I don't. I think I want to be in sports med but I'm not sure enough to waste money on it. I'll go back when I know."

"You're going to forget everything you learned. You're pissing your life away for nothing!" my dad said, slamming his hands onto the counter.

The crappy part about living in the moment was that I had to be in it. And all I wanted to do right then was be anywhere but standing up to the both of them. I knew they were looking out for what they thought was best for me, but I wasn't sure college was best anymore.

"Dad, I have a degree! I didn't quit. I'm not changing my mind. It's my life and my money. It's not your money paying for my classes; it's mine, and I don't want to waste it."

"And we don't want you to waste your life. We'll do parent loans and help," Mom said.

"I don't want your help! I need to figure me out. I love working at the gym. People are fit and healthy there. They're not in pain and recovering. I can show them how to be better, how to train harder, and sculpt their bodies. I like it. Maybe I like it better than fixing broken people."

"You're barely making more than minimum wage," Dad countered.

"So?"

"So?! You can't live off of that."

"Not forever, but I'll be fine for now."

"You live at home. We're taking care of most of your bills. You need a career."

"I can do it on my own. You want me to leave? I will; you know

I will!"

I heard almost the same conversation between them and Theo when he decided not to enlist. Only they took it easier on him because he wasn't giving up on his future the way they said I was. Baseball scholarship or not, they blamed the reason he wanted to stay in Washington on his girl, and they blamed me taking a break on the gym. I think, deep down, Dad wanted us all to follow him into the Air Force and no decision, not a full-ride baseball scholarship, not a career in physical therapy, would have made him happy but that.

"That's not the point, Tatum. The point is you need to focus on your future."

"But I don't! I'm barely twenty! I have my whole life in front of me and I'm not some spoiled rich kid that can afford to get three years into a degree and figure out it's not what I want to do. I don't want to enlist ... I don't. No offense to you Dad," I said, "or to the military, but I can't stand around and have people tell me what to do all day or go get blown up or raped. It's not for me. This is the best thing for me right now."

"Sweetie, you're young. You don't know ..." Mom started.

"Mom, stop! My mind's made up, OK? I just wanted to tell you so you stop asking what my class line-up is for September. There is no next year ... for now or, for who knows how long. I'll let you know when I do."