"You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold." - Unknown
DEDICATION: For soulofahalfblood because a simple 'thanks for updating!' means way more to a writer than you'd expect <3
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"Oliver?"
"Yes, Your Royal Bitchiness?"
"I don't know what to say."
"I can provide you with a list of conversation starters-"
"No, I meant figuratively."
"Yeah, but I have some real good con-"
"Oliver, I am going to twist you into a pretzel if you don't let me explain."
"Okay, rude. So, what's crackalackin?"
"Yesterday, I stumbled upon Chipmunk and Penelope-"
"You mean that ski instructor who looks like she always walks on stilts?"
"-Sucking face with each other."
"What? No! They're sinking my ship!"
"We're not a ship!"
"Don't deny it, you want to drape your mozzarella body over his-"
"I am going to sew your mouth shut."
"Anyway, there's no way this was done on accident."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"They're trying to make you jealous."
"..."
"..."
"I'll call you back."
YOU ARE READING
Snow Boots (#3)
Short Story"You've reached Westerden Ski Lodge, how may I be of assistance?" "Hey, can I rent some snow boots and skis? Maybe even a girlfriend, if you've got any in stock." "Awesome, do you want to order a life along with that? The gift wrapping's free of...
