Junk Mail

Chapter Twelve - Apologies, Angst and Attacks

Ben stopped talking and let the phone fall out of his hands and on to the soft carpet of Larry's living room when he heard the line being cut on the other end of the phone. His mother had stopped talking to him and his sister had put the phone down. They couldn't even stand the sound of his voice so what would they do in the event that they had to see his face? Ben didn't know what to do and began pacing the room, drawing a smile out of his father who saw a little bit of himself in Ben.

"So what do we do now?" Susanna asked Larry from her position on the beanbag. "Those idiot reporters are probably still waiting outside his house, his family members don't want to speak to him and he most likely can't get to work because there is no work for him anymore. You told me to bring him to you and you promised me some cash for that job. I want that cash and then I want to leave."

Pepe el glared at Susanna from across the room. "Can you think about Ben man for a bit? He's probs scared right now."

"Scared of what?" Susanna snorted. "I told him to try telling the truth and see where it got him. He's the idiot who decided to shout out everything he'd lied about outside with a bunch of people with cameras and microphones running after him. It's his own fault for being so stupid. And honestly, who pretends to be dying just to keep a terrible job that no one in their right mind would want to be in in the first place? Ben was just asking for this type of embarrassment. I'm just surprised it took him a full twenty two years to get there."

Ben was getting frustrated with Susanna and was just about to tell her so when Larry got up and handed her a black briefcase with money inside it. Ben realised that it was very different to the pink suitcase with pony stickers all over it that Andrew Davis had given him to give to Susanna all those weeks ago. And it did feel like a long time ago, as though Ben was thinking back to an entirely different part of his life where everything had been easy and calm. He felt sad as he watched Susanna leave with purpose in her stride, and realised that he was simply just another job to her. She was meant to have brought him to Larry and she had, and that was all there was to it. They were not suddenly friends after a few meetings with each other, which caused Ben to question his brotherhood with Pepe el as well. How could they form such a strong friendship so quickly? Was Pepe el secretly mocking him as well?

"You can leave too if you want Pepe el," Ben said quietly. "I don't want you to be embarrassed by me as well, and I need to sort out this mess by myself. I don't need anyone else to help me."

Pepe el shook his head frantically. "No, I'm good, Ben man. I'll stay right here. What do you want me to do? Kidnap a reporter and make them tell a different story? Kidnap your ma and get her to forgive you? Kidnap Susanna and make her say sorry?"

Ben shook his head and wondered again if Pepe el was mocking him. Was Pepe just rubbing in the fact that Ben had lost everything? Another, more rational part of Ben said that this wasn't the case and that Ben had no reason to doubt Pepe el, who had always stuck by Ben in his most recent times of need. But Ben was frustrated and angry and confused and could not see this. Rationality died as Fury took power.

"I don't need you to do anything!" Ben shouted too loudly. "I don't need you to kidnap anybody. I don't need dad to pay some girl to be mean to me and collect me from work like I'm a little kid or something. I don't need people treating me like I'm incapable of doing anything myself, and I don't need anybody reminding me of how incapable I am of doing everything myself. I can sort this mess out on my own."

Ben was crying when he'd finished having a go at Larry and Pepe el, and decided that he needed to leave the house and get some fresh air. He didn't want to be in a room that stunk of his own failure, but outside - where he could smell the failure of those before him - was where he needed to be.