Mr. Whoever You Are

Chapter 11

TIM POV: 

Faith has been dead silent the entire drive. All she does is stare out the window, only speaking when she tells me she has to stop to pee, or eat. The silence is excruciating. I'm hoping I didn't make a mistake by dragging her all the way out here. I don't want this to make things between us worse. 

I thought the seven hour drive would give us time to unwind, and maybe even talk a bit. Back when it was just us and Gracie, we'd talk the entire trip, nonstop. This is just awful... 

We're staying in a beach house outside of Savannah that a friend loaned to me for the weekend. It's equipped with a pool, a small gazebo right on the beach, one master suite which is to die for (In addition to five other bedrooms), a hot tub, and did I mention it's right on the beach? It should be perfect.... when and if Faith decides to speak to me at anytime during this trip. 

I miss her, and the way things were. I'd give a lot just to go back to that time once more. 

We pull up to the house, sitting silently for one more minute in the car, before she opens her door and hops out. I take a deep breath, and head back to grab our luggage. I look around the SUV to see her staring up at the monster house and cocking her head a bit, as if she were analyzing a work of art.

"I like it." She shouts back, looking over her shoulder with a bit of a smile. I widen my eyes, surprised that she's giving that reaction after seven hours of dead silence. 

I stand by the stove, cooking dinner while Faith goes up and washes off. I stare at the sizzling pan, trying to think of a plan of action. How do I get her to talk to me again? What should I say when she comes down? Should I pretend like nothing ever happened? 

The sound of her footsteps against the wooden staircase alert me, causing me to turn her way. I take pause, her beautiful blonde hair all pushed to one shoulder, while she wears a short, red dress. Her lips are dark, tinted a bright red. She stops on the steps, and bites her lip to try and hide a smile. I feel blown away... She looks stunning. 

"Whatcha cookin'?" She releases, her voice soft and sweet. I continue to stare, completely amazed by her. "Tim?" She adds, trying to break my concentration. 

"Spaghetti!" I shout accidentally, feeling like a teenager again. She fights a smile, and points to the burner. 

"It's burning." She says. I turn around to see everything is now a dark brown. "Take out?" She suggests, continuing once more to come down the steps. I nod, feeling a little defeated, as I move the pans into the sink. She makes her way toward the wine cellar, and returns a minute later with a bottle of red, along with two wine glasses. She pours them slowly, and pushes a glass my way. She then grabs the bottle and her glass, and walks outside. I follow her, as she makes her way onto the beach. "This is amazing..." She releases quietly, as I catch up to her. She makes a divot in the sand, and places the bottle down in it, before sitting down and looking out at the ocean as the moon begins to make it's bright debut. She looks over at me and bites her lip once more. "Go grab a pad of paper, a pen, and a guitar." She orders, grabbing onto my hand and giving it a squeeze. As if I were her servant, I go without another question, rushing to grab each item so I can return to her side as fast as possible. 

"You want to write a bit?" I ask, sitting down beside her, before handing her the pad of paper and the pen. I place the guitar in my lap, taking a sip of wine before strumming around a bit. She nods. 

"I heard you talking to Chris... about this... and me. I know when we write together, we tend to understand each other better, so I thought maybe I could try and help you understand where I'm at." She explains slowly. I nod hesitantly, nervous she'll begin a break up song or something along those lines. She looks down and scribbles down a few lyrics, before pointing to the guitar. "Can you just play along as I sing?" She asks. I nod, and listen, as she nervously begins to croon. 

"I feel like the flowers in this vase... He just brought em' home one day, "Ain't they beautiful?" he said. They've been here in the kitchen and the water's turnin' grey. They're sittin' in the vase but now they're dead... dead flowers... I feel like this long string of lights. They lit up our whole house on christmas day. But now it's January and the bulbs have all burned out, but still they hang, like dead flowers..." She sings, tears emerging in her eyes. She takes a deep breath, before starting her chorus. "He ain't feelin' anything... My love, my hurt, or the sting of this rain. I'm livin' in a hurricane... All he can say is, "Man ain't it such a nice day?"... Yeah, Yeah." She releases, looking up at me for a reaction. I nod slowly, feeling my chest growing tighter. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to--" I start, before she interrupts. 

"You're not doing anything wrong, baby... It's just... I'm not back to normal yet. I'm still hurting, a lot, physically and mentally, so I'm just not there yet. It's just, you don't feel what I feel, which is good because this is the worst thing I've ever experienced... So when you try to fix things, it just feels like you believe that there's an easy answer to the whole thing, and there's not. I'm going to have to hurt, and cry, and lash out until I get over it, or else I'll wind up fixated." She releases, a stray tear slipping down her cheek. "You're doing everything right. I just need you to be patient. I still love you like crazy..." She adds, causing me to wrap my arms around her. I feel her tense up a bit, causing me to pull away. 

"I'm sorry, I keep forgetting about the scars." I apologize, causing her to release a sad smile. She grabs onto my hand and gives it a squeeze. 

"Why don't you let me take control? I know what will hurt and what won't..." She offers. I narrow my eyes, before catching on. I nod slowly, as she leans over and kisses me. The kiss is long and hard. She places her hand on my jaw, before straddling my legs and sitting on my lap. Out of instinct, I place my hands around her hips while she kisses me. She slowly moves them away, as I grow aware of the discomfort it causes her. "Lay back..." She says between kisses. I obey without another word, as she undoes my belt. I reach to take off her dress, but she grabs my hand and holds it. "Let's leave it on..." She says under her breath, and she pulls down my boxers. She's never kept her clothes on during sex... ever... There's never been a part of her that I hadn't seen, so it was never something that would be an issue. The only reason for her keeping her dress on would be the new scars, which I've only caught a brief glimpse at once through the window into her hospital room. Caught in mid thought, I'm caught off guard when she suddenly starts. 

"Oh, wow..." I release unintentionally, causing her to laugh. She leans down in whispers in my ear. 

"No panties." She says, kissing behind my ear as she slowly moves. I can feel the difference. She's a lot more cautious in her movement, and sometimes if things hit a weird way, she jumps a little, and readjusts herself. 

"You know I don't care about the scars?" I spit out, my mind racing. She stops moving for a moment, and sits up, her hands on my chest. "You've seen all mine..." I add, feeling a little odd that she doesn't feel comfortable with showing me. She slowly peels off her dress, dropping it beside me, as goosebumps begin to poke up on her sides. I run my hands along her curves, studying the new scars slowly. 

I turn over, placing her on the bottom, with a plan in mind. She panics, unsure whether I'm going to accidentally hurt her. I move down slowly, until my lips reach her highest scar, just under her breasts. I press my lips against them, causing her to tense up a bit. I kiss the scar softly, feeling her gradually begin to trust me as I move onto the next. The series of three scars are now a light purple, beginning to fade like a stretch mark. Eventually, she grows comfortable enough where she begins to run her fingers through my hair. Once I've reached the last scar, I go and kiss her lips, noticing tears are streaming down her cheeks. I rub them away with my thumb, before I start to take over. She gasps, as I grow a little too comfortable. 

"A little slower..." She directs, holding onto me tightly. I listen, and pull back to make sure I can see her facial expressions, so I can see if she's uncomfortable. Now, I'm nervous. I really don't want to mess this up and make her feel A.) Like sex can never be the same between us or B.) Like I'm taking a chainsaw to her by hitting all of her scars just right. She scrunches up her face, digging her nails into my back, causing me to stop immediately. I hold still, not wanting to hurt her by moving. "What are you doing?" She croaks, out of breath. I remain still like an idiot, as she laughs, and leans her head back. "Don't stop..." She orders, as I slowly start once more. She releases a little cry, before holding onto me tightly, almost completely out of breath. She smiles, as she kisses me, her hands on my jaw. "I love you..." She whispers, her lips pressed against my ear.