Don't Forget Me (Baekhyun Fanfic) #Wattys2017

Chapter Nine- Song of Sleep

I shook my head despite him not looking my way. "You've got it all wrong..."

If anything, I thought he'd be ashamed of me. I was just an average girl, and compared to me he was a god. He was rich, handsome, sweet; why would I ever be ashamed of him? Whereas I had an awful and annoying personality, and considered infamous by popular girls such as Taeyeon. I was a phony, and he seemed to be one of the most genuine people I know. Hell, I've been keeping my guard up because I thought he'd be ashamed of the real me.

"Then would you care to explain?" he asked.

I froze, tense. He looked up at me, and with his locking gaze, I knew I couldn't just turn around. That pleading look, it was as if he was trying so hard to understand. But I've only known him for a few days, and he's asking me to knock down my walls before he does the same.

"Baekhyun-oppa..." I trailed. How could I trust him? He could break that contract within seconds if he wished. Just today he caught me in a sex shop! He probably already knows I'm a fake, no, he definitely does. Was I being paranoid? Probably.

I wanted so desperately to trust him, but I felt myself being held back. We've got our entire lives to figure this out if he keeps his half of the bargain, so what's the rush? I've known him for only days, I can't just tell him already about my sob story. Sure, I told Chanyeol some of the summary, but not all of it. Not the depth of it.

Yet why was my heart pounding because of this boy that I've known for only a few days? I knew my duty as an heir to be betrothed to a man, and I resented the idea since I was young. But, why was I starting to not mind the idea? I couldn't be in love, love within days is just impossible. But was I... falling?

I was scared out of my mind at the moment, and I couldn't place why. Was it because I was scared of having my heart broken if he left? If I were to trust him, to put everything into him, I had the risk of having it shattered.

I didn't know him. I didn't know his favorite animal or his 'type' of girl. I didn't know if he preferred sunsets over sunrises or how many girlfriends he's had. I. Didn't. Know. Him.

Suddenly the fact that I was in a marriage with a man I didn't know seeped in. I was going to be expected to kiss him. I was going to have to bear his child. There would be so many things I'd have to do for him. Yet, what if he didn't like me, despite the things I'll do?

He could see the wheels turning in my head, whirring in fact. "Do you need some more medicine?"

I turned and rushed past him, getting it myself. I didn't want to have another migraine. I swallowed the medicine, taking a gulp of water. Why was this so hard for me? I'm usually so outgoing and fun, yet around him I was shy and wound-up. But that's what I wanted in the beginning, right? To be what he wanted.

"But I don't know what he wants," I say to myself.

"What?" Baekhyun asks.

"I. Don't. Know." I bury my face in my hands, feeling tears drop onto my fingertips. Good thing I don't wear makeup, I'm sure mascara would be smudged everywhere.

"Sarang... Mianhae," Baekhyun apologizes.

"No, I'm sorry," I apologize. "It's just... I have a lot of things bottled up right now, a lot."

I'm sure people think I should just break down my precautions to this guy and be myself. But I'm still a teenage girl, not fully matured. I still have feelings. I still have doubts. I still have insecurities. And I knew enough that some of the stuff I'm going through isn't exactly mentally healthy for me, and particularly stressful. I'm going through things that many women prepare for in their adult years. And unlike some of them, I actually want the man to stay.