Those Eyes (pt.6)

685 33 3

by ricefieldy

by ricefieldy

"It was possibly my voice from 7 years ago."

(Y/N)'s POV

My eyes widened while my mouth hung open in shock.

What does he mean?

"What?" I chuckled and shook my head. Haru looked down and combed his hair vigorously, making it clear in my eyes that he wasn't lying. "I-I'm sorry you—" He lifted his head up, showing his misty ocean-blue eyes, shimmering under the light of a morning sun.

As if mocking us, the sun outside is very warm, gentle, and bright. Contrast to the current tense situation.

"I don't get it. I mean, I remember none of it. It's like, a fake memory or a hallucination." I leaned in, trying to get a better look of his face; understanding his true expression. "No, that happened. You. Have. To. Believe. Me." The way he made his words clear sending shivers down my spine. "B-but," I don't remember any of those memories. If it's something so important, vivid, unforgettable, why I don't remember any of it? Until now, all I remember are some little fragments of those forgotten memories.

"Listen closely." He sighed and combed his hair again, ashen-faced. "We were the best around the neighborhood when we're little, you remember?" His lips curled into a smile while his eyes still the same; tense and sad. I just stare, don't really know how to answer him. "Then, I left, leaving you alone when we're... not so old to understand we better stick together." He lowered his voice along with his words. "I came back to the neighborhood, only for few days because I realize I m-missed you. I was old enough to know that I, uh, l-like you."

I stared and looked deeply into his clear, still-misty eyes. I feel so guilty and confused; I remember about my past recently, especially about this colleague of mine. I forgot about him while he... liked me. "I'm sorry." I gasped, tears threatening to spill out. "It's okay. Let me... let me just continue this first and you'll get everything, okay?" His eyes softened, showing me only kindness and a nostalgic feeling.

"You said you miss me, I felt incredibly happy." He smiled and his eyes closed, as if replaying the moment in his head. "We went places together, still, no more than a close friend." He chuckled, his expression as he remembers the past made me smile. Though I don't know which memory was that. "I learned how to drive a car and my parents let me. We went almost everywhere around the city using that car, until—" He looked away. The look in his face is so forlorn I want to fix it. I want to turn his thinned-lips into a smile. "—that accident." I continued. A crease between his brow appears, making his expression looks as forlorn as it could.

"I'm sorry, (y/n). I... ran away." He scratched his head while wearing a troubled look on his face. "I promised your father not to come again. I promised..." The looks in his eyes turned distant—I don't really understand his feelings but somehow tears threatening to come out.

Suddenly, a memory of my dad talking vaguely about Haru in the hospital hits me.

"I thought that boy wasn't serious... He seriously left." Dad said with a regretful yet forlorn looks on his face. "Who, dad?" I asked while I lays listlessly on the hospital's bed. "Rest first, (y/n). Rest." He muttered as he tucked me in.

That time, I had no idea who that guy would be. Until now, I don't know exactly why I didn't know him or remember him. "B-but why I..." I stammered, feeling all panicky. "Because of that accident, you... lost some parts of your memories. T-that's why I..." He answered with a shaky voice and a forlorn tone. "My parents never told me anything like that." I lifted my head, looking into his eyes as tears starting to run down my cheeks.

We stayed in silence for quite a while. I don't know what to answer and he don't know what to say. I know he would want to remove this awkward silence but somehow, he can't do that and so am I.

"I uh, I don't want you to be confused so I left." He started. "Your dad called me few times and asked me to come back." I cried harder until I almost chocked, not believing my parents never told me a thing about this important person.

This important person; the one whom supposed to be my childhood friend, my dear one, someone I cared a lot more than any other person. The feeling of guiltiness, anger, sadness, relieve, come together in some droplets of tears.

"I care about you. A lot. Until today." He lifted his head and looked me in the eyes with such a determining gaze. "I-I'm sorry... I can't remember you clearly..." He rose and walked towards me in my blurry vision. "Shh," The next thing, I found myself enveloped in his warmth with his chin on the top of my head. "I know this might be the wrong time but... I don't know when else I would do this." His voice tinged with sadness while my confusion grows bigger.

What did he mean by that?

I looked up and met his ocean-blue eyes. Ah, those eyes. How they are so tantalizing and calming in the same time.

"Because I left and you lost some of your memories, this... t-this might be a little awkward because it seems like we were just some regular colleagues." He whispered, barely audible. "C-can I have a chance to start over?" My shoulders stiffened and my cheeks felt hotter than ever, together with this strange feeling inside my heart. His voice was slightly horse and tinged with mysteries, giving me some other fire. "Why? Why starting over again? Why not continue what we have?"

I came to a realization after these days, weeks; he attracted me not because he tried to nor because I wanted to get close to him on purpose. I was just a little curious. Really? Maybe yes, I was just curious. After we got paired for a job, I realized that those eyes weren't the only thing attracted me. Everything. Everything about me piqued my interest and curiosity. I tried to know him better and get close to him, unconsciously.

"Things will get much more complicated if we continue what we had." His voice was slightly shaky. "...yeah." In the end, I agreed with him. I want to him more in a more proper way. Not an awkward start like this.

"I'm Nanase Haruka, one of your colleagues. Pleasure to meet you." He held his hand out.

"Pleasure to meet you too, Mr. Nanase. I'm (l/n) (y/n)."

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THE ENDING WAS SHITTY I KNOW I RAN OUT OF IDEAS FOR THISSSS

I AM TRULY SORRY.