thoughts ≠ sx

sunken in

there's something to say about memories of horrible, wrecked relationships. does the sound of a beer bottle opening make you want to throw up, does it remind you of walking streets with bloodied feet and a half-tied corset?

i've lost so much, so much you've stolen from me as a child, with ribbons in my hair and pure intentions that were strayed off the path everyone else follows, but yet you are still here, blinking back at me like i deserve to let you out of my head, like you deserve the happiness that a new life and no records will provide you.

i shouldn't have listened, but my god, i did, and you have to suffer the consequences of spinning fairytales of twisted aftertaste to a child.

july 13th

the train of thought that inspired this chapter is child sexual abuse. it's a complicated story to tell, because remember- a "yes" as a twelve year old does not mean a "yes". consent is complex, and even if a young child says "yes", they most certainly do not mean it. because they do not know what will come, what will cause them trauma as adults. relationships in the first stanza is italicized because any sort of relationship with a titled power balance is not a relationship. it is an abuser, and a victim.

dedicated to zeeglur and colleencosette for being inspirational muses.

-samantha