"Did you hear what I said?" I asked making sure she was still with me.
"Camz I'm pregnant," I said again.
"I heard," she said finally snapping out of her trance. I watched as her eyes traveled down to my left hand and I sighed quietly knowing exactly what she was looking at. I never used to wear the ring around her; at first when I kept it on I noticed her mood changed when she saw it so I eventually learned to keep it in the car before going into her apartment.
"I bet he's excited "she mumbled looking down. If she would just meet my eyes maybe I could make this easier for her. Maybe if she would just look into my eyes my brain will automatically become inspired and come up with the perfect combination of words that would take away her pain right now.
But she didn't look up, and all I could mutter out was a quick "He is".
I witnessed as she took a deep breath gathering up all of her strength to look into my eyes and spit out a "Congratulations Lauren"
My head shook immediately "You know I never wanted this Camila"
"Well now you have it," she said not missing a beat. Her aggression surprised me for a second; I've never seen her like this before.
Though I certainly can't expect her to react kindly, and maybe it's the pregnancy hormones but I couldn't help the tears that begin to fill my eyes.
"That's not fair," I whispered. I think she knew this, if it wasn't for her I might be in this situation with her right now. We could be having kids of our own but even though I now know it wasn't true, I will never be able to erase the image of her telling me she doesn't love me out of my head.
"I have to go," she announced.
She immediately turned around running up the steps of the classroom
"Camila, wait!" I yelled after multiple times as she made her way up but it was no use. The deafening sound of the large door slamming shut echoed through the classroom leaving me paralyzed.
**
Ally's words involuntarily brought back the memory but I was snapped out of my trance when I felt Camila's hand squeeze mine under the table.
Our sad eyes met for a brief second before the room broke out in a round of "Oh my God's", "Congratulations" and "How far are you's?"
Ronny then informed us that though this wasn't really in the plans for them they were both really excited.
I smiled politely at the pair and congratulated them as I should but there was an unspoken tension in the room and I think I may be the only one who noticed my wife's sad eyes.
It wasn't until we got in the car that she finally let her thoughts out.
"Do you think something is wrong with me?" she asked.
I immediately talked up the thought to be ridiculous, because it was. But she was frustrated that we are trying and they weren't and they managed to get pregnant while we just continue to try. I laid out the fact that we've only tried twice and that the odds of them getting pregnant are greater due to their biological advantage.
This didn't console her whatsoever.
"Camila" I tried again "There is nothing wrong with you" I reiterated "We are going to get pregnant Camz"
She seemed to visibly relax with the certainty in my voice but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't just a tad bit jealous of Ron and Ally right now.
Almost as if on cue when we got home my phone went off and I sighed realizing it was Lockwood. He insisted I had 48 hours to turn in my last chapter or the agency would drop the project. I knew he was bluffing considering we've already signed a contract, not to mention we've already thought of a title and I've signed off on a cover but I knew I really did have to turn it in this time.
Chapter 28- The Iceberg Method
Start from the beginning
