Have you ever just had something so good in your life that you cant believe is there in all the bad i did i had two friends zech and maria that i talked to and cared about so much i used to talk to the everyday and jump at the chance to see them but recently since I've been homeless i pushed them away and i cant blame zech for not fighting for our friendship he had things going on in his life that i couldn't help him with but with maria she fought for so long to stay in touch with me but i pushed her away thinking she shouldn't be involved in my mess and to go on in her life without me dragging her down but recently shes got a new best friend and doesn't try to talk to me anymore i cant blame her for that because that's exactly what i wanted to happen but it still hurts knowing I'm just that forgettable zech was older than me and understand me because he's gone through some of the same thing and he knew why i stopped talking to him but maria she didn't and she has low self-esteem so i cant help thinking she thinks it her fault but that's not the case i love maria so much and i want to apologize for how bad of a person
i was to her but i don't wanna get her hopes up about me talking to her because all i want is to be alone i don't want help no one understands and she most certainly wont because she has such a happy life while I'm struggling to wake up everyday if any of my old friends ever see this i just want to say sorry i never really tried to stay in touch or share my emotions it was all my fault that i cant trust most people I'm just so sorry and most have probably forgotten about me by now but I'm still sorry
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