Missing him was... || Jesper "Zven" Svenningsen

Chapter 2: Morning talks

June 2, 4:30 PM
LCS Studio

Today was the beginning of the EU LCS Summer Split and the team will play their first match against G2 soon. It was an hyped match because it was against our old botlane. Even though the scrims were terrible, I believed that we could win or at least tie against them. I was just glad that I wasn't the one playing on stage, because I still wasn't over Jesper. I was lucky enough that I didn't meet him backstage.

After the match

The games went terrible and the team ended up losing their first match. G2 dominated the first game and managed to win the second, even though we had a better early game in this game. After seeing the nexus fall, Enrique and I immediately made our way on stage. Actually I've never did this before, because I've felt not important enough. I knew how much people hate me, because I live with them, even though I wasn't even a real sub, and just got the sub spot, because it stood in the rules that LCS teams needed one. It was clear that I'll get more hate when the internet knows that I even was backstage every time. But this time I didn't care.

The handshakes were very awkward. Maurice gave Alfonso a cold glance while Maurice and Jesper didn't even looked at each other. I could feel how mad Maurice was at them and his loss.
Enrique and me waited till the handshakes ended and went to the team. They were mad and disappointed in themselves and it'll surely take a while getting over it. Enrique hugged Tristan shortly and I did the same with Glenn. Then I went to Maurice and gave him a pat on his back.

"Sorry man." I told him and sighed.

"Nah, passt schon. Bin bloß sauer auf mich, weil ich so viele Fehler gemacht habe." [Nah, it's alright. I'm just angry at myself for making so many mistakes."] He tried a smile, but his face was full of dissatisfaction.

I just kept quiet, because I didn't know how I could encourage him and the others. It was one of many moments where I felt useless as a team mate or even a friend. What am I even doing here, when I can't even encourage my own friends?

9:00 PM
Origen Gaming House

After our loss against G2, nobody was in the mood to watch the other games in the studio. Since the team had to prepare the rest of the day for their match against Unicorns of Love, I spent my time playing SoloQ while them watching EU LCS together. Thanks to Glenn I had lots of fun playing ADC which lead to me spamming it in SoloQ. I still was a bit shaky in this role, but I didn't rely hardly on my support anymore.

Suddenly I saw Enrique watching me.
He just gave me a smile and asked jokingly, "Do you switch roles now because you're tired of carrying your AD?"

"It's Hybrid's fault! Just because he sucks in any other role which is not support." I defended myself and laughed. "For real though, playing AD is hella fun. It kinda reminds of me the time, when I began playing ranked. I was an Ezreal one trick pony at that time."

Then Enrique's facial expression changed and he looked serious again. "How are you doing? Does the departure of the botlane affect you much?" He lowered his voice. "I mean, you and..."

"Yeah yeah, it's alright." I interrupted him quickly. My laugh went away as fast as it came. Then I lowered my voice a bit as well. "Alfonso and Jesper can do whatever they want, I don't care about them anymore. And that thing with Jesper... in the bathroom - it was an accident. Sorry that you had to discover it." I explained to him and ignored my inner voice, saying "liar".

Enrique's eyes scrutinized me, and I avoided eye sight with him.

Of course he knows that something was wrong with my story, even though he doesn't know what. But I would rather die than admitting I had true feelings for Jesper and actually had a secret 'relationship' with him.