A Broken Girl (1D AND Demi Lovato FANFIC)

Chapter 7 - I Can Only Imagine

I woke up at the same time the next morning. It was another endless night. Constant battle in my head. It was horrible!! Then I remembered I was going to the doctors. I got dressed I didn't have to go to the work out place. I put on some light make up. I don't know why I'm making an effort but I don't wanna look like a slob in front of a doctor! It's weird I know. One of the nurses came into my room.
"You look nice." She smiled.
"Thanks."
"There's two people here for you."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Come out when you're ready." She left. I looked at myself once more. I went out to the lobby and looked around. Then I saw Harry and Demi. I ran over to them and hugged them.
"I missed yous so much!"
"You always say that." Harry smiled.
"It's true."
"We missed you." Demi smiled. "Are you nervous?"
"Very! Is it obvious?"
"No. Everyone's always nervous! You'll be fine." Demi assured.
"Pinky promise?"
"Yes pinky promise forever and ever." She laughed. "I have my own pinky promises for you ok?"
"Ok...?"
"Pinky promise you'll try extra hard to stop cutting and you'll be really good in the doctors and listen to what they say?"
"Ok. I pinky promise."
"And that we'll be sisters forever."
"Forever and ever and ever! I don't only pinky promise it I swear on my life!" I hugged her again. I love her so much! Me and Demi started taking selfies. She put one on Instagram.
@ddlovato: me and my little sister ❤ love you xxx Stay Strong xx ❤

We sat in the doctors waiting room. I was very quiet. I was leaning on Harry.
"You ok?" He asked.
"Nope."
"You'll be fine."
"I know...but still...what if the doctor's mean?"
"They won't be."
"What if they're evil?!"
"Calm down. They're not. You'll be fine."
"No I won't! I'm crazy and they'll probably just say that!"
"No they won't."

"Ok we're gonna do some tests." The doctor told us while I nodded slowly. I was freaking out inside. I looked at Demi and Harry. I had to survive these tests. I can't let anything be wrong with me.

"Ok, Ms Styles." He paused for a minute. "We found some abnormalities in the tests." I died inside. Great I'm officially crazy. "You have bipolar disorder. We're not sure if there's anything else but there's a possibilities of lots of mild things. But for now it's only bipolar disorder." I nodded slowly at this information. "You also have depression but you may have already known that? The mix of depression and bipolar disorder is most likely the cause of your self harm." I nodded slowly. "You can't blame yourself for this. Lots of people have this and live with it. You can cure depression with your therapy sessions but unfortunately there's no cure for bipolar yet. I'll let you have some time alone to think things through." I bit the inside of my cheek. I left with the others. I started crying as soon as we were out of the office. They both hugged me.
"It's ok. You're ok. I have it and I'm ok. Everything's gonna be fine." Demi tried to comfort me.
"You're still my baby sister no matter what. I promise it's ok." Harry said he sounded like he was about to cry.
"It's not ok. I'm locked in a rehab centre like a crazy person while everyone else is out in the open. I'm left alone with the voices. You don't understand how easy it is to just kill myself. I actually think about that more than I did when I was at home. I just want to go home. I'll do whatever just please let me go home. I'm never gonna get better like this. I'm slowly getting worse. I'll eat, I'll talk to anyone, I won't cut just let me go home. I wanna sleep in my own bed, to watch tv, to be treated normally. Anything but this." I continued to cry while explaining that.
"If it's gonna make you better then ok. You can come home. But you have to eat, not cut, go to a psychologist ok?" Harry sighed.
"Yes. I promise. I swear on my life. Thank you." I hugged him again. We all went back to the rehab centre. Harry was gonna sort it out. Demi came with me to help me pack my things. I did it really quickly, I just wanted to get out as quickly as I could.
"Is she stable enough to go home?" A nurse argued with Harry.
"Yes. She's not getting better. There's lots of people at home who love her and will help her."
"She has to go to a psychologist you know that right?"
"Yes. I made arrangements with the psychologist here because she already knows her. I don't care what you say anyway I'm bringing her home."
"Fine." The nurse sighed. "Just sign these." She handed Harry some paper. I watched him sign it, he did so we could go home. I was so happy to finally leave here. I wasn't in there for long but I still hated it.

"Hi boys." I said when we got home. They all ran over and hugged me. I laughed. "I want my bed back Zayn."
"Can we share?"
"Fine." I laughed. We went to watch tv. I felt better already.

I was in bed that night. Zayn had managed to squeeze in too. I was lying there, just thinking when the voices came into my head.
"No!" I said out loud.
"What's wrong?" Zayn asked, worried.
"The voices.."
"The voices?"
"Yeah. The ones that remind me of everything bad in my life and things people have said." I went to reach for anything to cut, to make them go away. But Zayn took my hand.
"No." He said softly. I started crying.
"I have to."
"No you don't. You're stronger than this." I kept on crying and struggling against Zayn but he wouldn't let me. He just held me and rocked me slowly, trying to soothe and distract me. It wasn't working so I just kept on crying against his chest. He didn't seem to mind.
"Please?" I whispered for the millionth time.
"No." He whispered back for the billionth time. I tried not to cry but that was an epic fail so I began a new cycle of uncontrollable sobs. This continued for most of the night. It was about 4 in the morning before I fell asleep against Zayn's chest.