Poetry

Insomnia

Every night is an endless battle, another war is unleashed,

mind vs. body

my eyes plead for sleep, it's their only request, not another week

my body has other plans, it's relentless, it tells me to run, as far and as fast as I can, until my legs can't run anymore, to explore, to hunt, to where ever I may end up....

I lie awake for hours, wondering what to do

listen to so music, try and relax my chaotic mind

nothing seems to work

nothing seems to help

I try to get comfortable as if it'll actually work:

I toss and turn, move to the empty side of my bed, get out from under the covers, go back in,

move to the foot of my bed, hang my head upside down from the side,

looking around for something to sustain my wandering mind

frustrated, I try and find someone that's up at this damn hour, to talk to

once I do, it's not long before I'm texting all night and into the early morning, fuck...

The only way I get some form of rest is when my brain shuts down

giving into my eyes demands, making my body drift away

Until the dreams come,

there supposed to be of fantasy and making you absent from the 'real world'

mine don't, they haunt me, torture me, make me see things you would never want to see

I've watched many people die, seen myself at the brink of deaths hands, or things that happen in my waking life,

before they do.

Now not all dreams are bad and painful, but just be thankful

they don't wake you once they are over.

I always wake gasping for air, feeling disoriented and scared.

When I realize that I'm safe in my bed. I know I'm safe, I can see the familiar things that are in my room: boring white walls, boring white shelves, a beautiful black dresser with random crap on it, my stereo and next to it a TV, etc.

I lie back down, and close my eyes,

I squeeze them silently hoping I'll fall asleep, into peaceful sleep...

My head aches from thinking, wondering, watching, contemplating,

my thoughts running at the speed of light, going faster, and faster,

thinking about everything all at once, it's a wonder that I can get anything done or even function 'properly'.

Soon enough though, when my head aches too much, and it can't take it any longer,

my eyes close and one of the last things I usually remember is,

hearing the familiar sound of my phone buzzing,

I ignore it and pass out wondering if I'll wake later that day...