Life With You. [Wattys2017]

~ Eleven ~

Blunk! That was the sound I made when I rolled out of bed and hit the ground. Rubbing my head, I sit up and rub my eyes. Peering over to my left, at my bedside table, I squint to see the green numbers on my clock -8:34 p.m. and I rub my eyes to make sure  I was seeing it right. Yeah - I saw it alright - and now my terrible day was almost over. Extending my arm to get my phone, I see that I have missed messages on my phone.

Oh great.

My Luna Moon: You're terrible. I was just trying to help - but you can't help the heartless.

Lady Francesca: The friendship is absolutely one-sided. You never care about anyone else but yourself. All you do is talk about your day and stuff. Why would I want to be treated terribly by someone like that who was supposed to be my friend?

I respond with: Seriously guys? Heartless? One-sided? Where were you when I needed you two?

My Luna Moon: Oh there you go again. Being a conceited bitch and making everything about you again.

Lady Francesca: You broke the only guy who couldn't be broken and thought he was obsessed with you. You make everyone feel like either a slave or dirt on the bottom of your shoe. It makes me disgusted to think we were friends. Jake is right... a date with you would be a pity one. Leave Majesty Heights! No one wants you here; because you're conceited in your world.

Reading the messages, I feel the tears coming on, but I couldn't cry. I already cried too much today and too much in my entire life; my short, pathetic life. Then my phone goes off again; and I let out a sigh of defeat.

Unknown: Nico here! Don't come to school. No one wants you there. If anyone is going to switch schools...it'll be you. No one likes the envy monster. No one wants a big baby crying because she didn't get what she wanted. Just because a guy gets you coffee, doesn't mean anything! DROP OUT! YOU RUINED HIM! HE USE TO BE HAPPY BEFORE YOU DESTROYED HIS LIFE THIS MORNING! DON'T YOU DARE COME BACK TO SCHOOL TOMORROW OR ELSE! SERIOUSLY, EVEN YOUR BEST FRIENDS DO NOT WANT YOU HERE. I swear to god Amelia, don't cross me.

I respond with: Is that a threat? I'm sixteen. No one is supposed to declare their feelings at sixteen. I DO NOT LIKE HIM. I DO NOT CARE. YOU ALL MADE ME FEEL LIKE I AM NOT EVEN WORTH THE AIR I BREATHE. LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!

Silence. No new messages. No emails. No notifications. Finally alone. Why did I feel even worse than I did before I went to sleep? Oh right,  the whole world hates me and it's my fault; but should I wallow in my own pity party? Should I feel the need to cry myself to sleep even though I have cried way too much today? No. I shouldn't have to justify my actions.

"Knock. Knock. Ames are you up?"

"Yeah? Come in." I say in a choked up type of way.

"What's going on, sweetie? You missed dinner? Your eyes are still puffy. Darling, the friends you make in high school might not be in your life after you graduate. Boys are boys. You don't need to be a worrywart and freak out that no one likes you. Who the hell cares? I didn't raise you to be a quitter and I certainly didn't raise you to care what others think. Pick yourself up. Be my strong girl. I love you."

"Now you sound like Frankie. I love you too, mom."

She walks over to my bed and sits next to me; placing her hand on mine and says, "Well she's right. Don't let someone barge right back into your life and try to alter it. I thought you didn't believe in love at sixteen, Ames? Why is it that Jake is making you rethink everything? He's just Jake. Nothing peculiar or extraordinary about him."

"Mom... I still believe that love is the phantom of everyone's imagination. It doesn't truly exist until you're older and everyone is epically assuming that I like him and that would make me an extreme hypocrite. Love at sixteen is more like lust than actual love."

"Okay. What happened when you took the assignments over to Jake's house? Still upset about that, but it is what it is."

"Uhm... awkward tension. He called me the obsessed one since  I like showed up at his house in the middle of the school day; even after our fight and it was going well until he spoke those deranged words. Like seriously? Who does that? He says he likes me and I am just supposed to smile and accept it. I simply acknowledged that he broke me when he bought me coffee this morning. Mom, he asked me to stay. Like in his room with his parents downstairs and all alone with nothing to separate us.  I told him to take back that he liked me - then he threw me out of his room."

"Okay. As long as nothing terribly wrong happened." Stated my mother as she wipes her forehead in a sarcastic way of relief. "Thank god."

"Mom. Seriously. I think sex would be on the bottom of the totem pole for terrible things. Can we just not talk about it? This is why I do not tell you guys anything! It is over. Nothing I can do about it now. Drop the topic of conversation. Jake and I are never happening? Too cliché. There will be no teenage romance with that Lord de Beauchamp even if we were the last two people on Earth. Never going to happen, I tell you. That is final. You can drag this on forever, but my answer will always be the same. I won't find love until after high school and I won't fall madly in love with him."

She scoots off the bed and walks to the doorway and turns halfway around and states with pure sorrow, "Who are you trying to convince? You or me?"