Life With You. [Wattys2017]

~ Six ~

I turned the radio down; and put my car in park - before taking the keys out of the engine. No... I do not like him. Not a chance. Then why are you second guessing yourself? Why do you keep asking stupid rhetorical questions on whether or not you like him? The answer is simple. You do. You don't want to believe. Maybe you should just admit it to yourself and your life might be better. Your luck might just change. Just get out of your car and admit that you like him. He is the very reason you are afraid to fall in love. My mind has gone completely mad - has taken on a mind of it's own. No. I do not like him and that is final.

Collecting his assignments from my passenger seat; I scoot out my car and shut the door tightly. Walking up to the big red door along the driveway - I gulp with fear as my actions would be misinterpreted. Knock. Knock. No answer. So I ring the door bell with a: Ring. Voices hang out in the distant and I look around the neighborhood to see the stares from the peeping neighbors.

The door opens and two tall people answer: his mom and his dad. "Sorry sweetie. We were in the back in the pool; while Jake is upstairs in his room; if you want to take him his things. It is so nice to see you. Last time we saw you here, it was Jake's 4th birthday party and you had your hair in pigtails. Oh you were adorable. We thought that our little Jake would end up with you - because you two were the best of friends. You couldn't separate you guys even if you tried. Anyways it was nice to see you, Amelia. Tell your parents we say hello."

Blushing at what they just said, I cough and say, "It's okay to go up there? He didn't say why he came home so abruptly?"

"That he wasn't feeling well." They said as they moved into the kitchen and started looking for something to eat.

Go upstairs to his room; where he is by himself. Easier said than done. Shaking any mixed emotion from my mind, I head upstairs and see his door with a sign: Jake's Lair. Keep Out.

Knock -knock. My stomach got all weird and he shouts from the room, "Go away mom! Go away dad! I don't want to go swimming. Leave me alone. I am not feeling well!"

I just decide to go in. "It's not your parents."

His eyes went wide and he got really quiet. Biting my lip, I look around and see a very neat and organized room; with some Star Wars and Independence Day; and Rocky posters. He was an inside nerd. Jock on the outside - geek on the inside. How adorable?

"Oh. What are you doing here? At my house? In my room?"

Holding up his psych work and other assignments, his glare fades and I say, "Your schoolwork since you left today."

"Mhmm...sure. I could now say that you're the one obsessed with me; and following me home; and to so much like my bedroom. Are you? Obsessed with me?"

Laughing and then quickly stopping, I continue with, "No. I was not stalking you or have I ever stalked you. Geez! We're psych partners, remember? Yeah - I forgot too. Not to be weird or anything, I wanted to make sure you had your weekly assignments because you ran away like a girl; after you made me cry."

"Causation is not correlation."

"And drugs are bad. So, what's your point?"

"Maybe I didn't feel well? Ever think of that?"

Do I go in further? I am already here - so I might as well. Here I stand with his assignments in my hand; in his doorway. The very guy that made me cry just earlier that day. The one that keeps making me second guess everything. The one that is getting under my skin. Jake - the guy who plays the love field like a player and is the very reason I don't want to date now or later; in fact I just might marry myself - because I can't break my own heart.

"Here. Okay - so good bye." I say as I hand him the papers and turn to leave; as I had been there way too long.

"I'm sorry I implied you were crazy."

"Maybe I am."

"I made you cry and no one should make anyone cry. I miss the way it used to be?"

"When we were four? Good grief. You threw your hat into The Love Game that has always been at Majesty Heights High for years. You threw your hat in and made me feel like a bottom-feeder with no class. You made me feel low. Terrible in fact. All my hopes and dreams out the door; just like that. We were friends once; but I do not think it is in fact possible or plausible for us to be friends again. You said a date with me would be a pity date. Like who does that? Then you change your attitude after it all and apologize to me through a door; and then make me feel guilty as if I broke you or something; when in fact you broke me. You broke me the second you offered to buy me coffee."

His eyelids softened and he had a weepy yet sad look to him; and I couldn't help but feel even worse than I did prior. "You acted as if that was the first time we have spoken to each other since we were four. You acted as if I was like every other jock. Is that what you want? Me to be like everyone else? Rude and senseless with no idea what love is?"

How do I answer this? Hello mind - this would be a good time for yet another one of your insightful pep talks. I do have a migraine from all this bickering. My gosh - deary if you don't date him - I will make sure your life is terrible. It already is terrible. Still putting my two cents in - why don't you admit that he is second guessing your opinion on relationships and crushes and the fact that you like him and possibly could see yourself loving him? Do you want him to be an ass? Do you want to lose your best friend who promised to marry you if you guys weren't married by 26? Make up your own mind, because I am done!

"Do you? We have never spoken in public since we were four. So, sorry if I acted like you speaking to me was weird."

"Is it?"

"Is it what?"

"Weird? You can tell me anything."

"No I can't. You told the whole school I broke you -when in fact it is the other way around."

"How'd I break you?"

"Not telling you, because you're open your goddamn big mouth or go on social media. So no. Lips are sealed. I am not talking to you any longer. I should be leaving."

"I can definitely unseal your lips."

"Typical jock response." I say as I continue heading to the door; before I heard him get off his bed and come closer to me; after tossing his papers on the desk.

"I'm smarter than the average jock." He whispers behind me.

"Oh so I have heard. I have to be going." I say as soon as I reach the doorway.

"Do you?"

"Yes.