Paper Airplanes (Ereri - SNK)

A Feather in the Wind.

Second to last part. And the feather ^^^.

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Thomas gazes at me with faded eyes, almost sizing me up like he's trying to figure out the meaning of my question.

How do you let go of someone who's passed?

His elbows rest on his desk, his hands together with his fingers interlocked, his eyes staring at me from over top of them. Levi stands directly behind me; though I can't see him, I can feel him. Every once in a while I swear I see Thomas's eyes flicker up, almost like he thinks he sees him too, but can't be quite sure. My own eyes rest steadily on him, waiting for an answer.

"Are you asking...how you should let go of your grief?"

"...sort of, I guess..."

The old man sighs and lowers his hands. "That's a difficult question to answer," he says evenly. "Everyone's unique, so everyone grieves differently."

I swallow. I have to find a way to put this as to not give anything away but to tell as much of the truth as possible. "I guess...I guess I want to know how to accept that he's gone," I say, knowing well that Thomas knows who I mean. "And to...to know how to move on...I guess..." I mentally cringe at the way I ended the sentence the same way I started it.

Thomas's gaze holds steady with mine, but the corners of his wrinkled lips turn down fractionally. "You won't like the answer I have for you."

My stomach clenches. Levi makes a noise behind me, and I brace myself - mentally and physically, the muscles in my abdomen tightening. "I can handle it," I tell him. I surprise us both with how even my tone is.

The old man lets out a long breath through his nose, removing his hands from his desk entirely. "Live," he says. "Move on with your life, and then you can let go of the past. Find something to occupy your time - something you enjoy, that will mold your mind to think less about then and more about now, and the future."

"You mean...distract myself?"

"No. I mean live." His hands come up and curl into fists like he's gripping something invisible. "Life doesn't stop for anybody, and the best thing you can do for yourself is drift along in its flow. Have new experiences. Make new memories. Unstick yourself from all the pain in your heart and tell yourself you can overcome it. Wake up every morning with that thought in your head and tell yourself you can't be chained down, and continue to tell yourself that until you aren't chained down."

My throat seems to close up and I direct my attention to my feet. "Does that mean...I have to forget...?"

"No, absolutely not," he says enthusiastically. "Remember it, but don't let it be a weight that holds you back. Don't let those memories anchor you to the past and keep you from living in the present, or you'll miss everything and end up with a world of regret later."

Regret. The word hits home. I have to force myself from looking back at the winged being behind me despite there being no need. Levi agrees. I can feel it in my very bones.

"And if you have to, keep drawing," continues Thomas, "but keep moving. And I think your first step is moving out of that castle."

I glance back up. I've known that. Levi told me the same thing. So has Mikasa, and several others.

"Tea shop," I say; the words have left my mouth before I even had a chance to think them through.

"Hm?"

"One of Levi's secrets was that he wanted to open a tea shop...but he never got to. I want to do it for him."

And Thomas's proud smile is bigger than I've ever seen it.