Unconditional (Book Two)

16. Sunken Hearts

"That you go to the supermarket and buy a box of my favorite chocolates so that I can eat my anger up once he's gone."

I laugh, but nod my head in affirmation. "I don't really think you'll have to eat your anger up once you meet him, but...alright, I'll buy you your box of chocolates. I was going to go to the supermarket anyways, so that I could buy everything to prepare some delicious Mexican food."

"Ohhh great," he says sarcastically. "Lets prepare his favorite food."

"Ohh come on, he's our guest. Be nice."

Colin rolls his eyes once more, but smiles as I approach him to kiss his forehead.

"I'll be right back," I say, jumping off the bed, and grabbing my phone.

"Alright, sweetie. Take care please."

"I will," I reply, opening the door of the room. "Oh, and Colin..."

"Yes?" he asks, with his eyes now fixed on the newspaper in his hands.

"Thank you."

Jim's POV

I keep staring at Amelie and Colin's marriage certificate, as my heart sinks deeper and deeper on my painful chest.

"But...it doesn't make sense, I..."

"Jim," says Mayim gently, and approaching me. "It is what it is. And...I don't understand why it hurts you so much that you're not married to her. I thought it would be a relief for you."

I turn to look at her with a sort of depressed expression in my face...sort of because I'm trying to hide it...and in some way I do realize she's right. It should be a relief to find out that you're not married to a total stranger, but Amelie doesn't feel like a total stranger to me at all. I feel like she's a very close friend right now, an immediate and magical connection, plus...even though I am TERRIFIED of admitting this...I love the girl, and there is no way I can keep fooling myself about it.

"It's not, Mayim," I say, as my eyes glow with the tears shaping in them. "Because then...all the questions in my mind aren't cleared. What is this? What is my ring about? What is the necklace about? What are the headaches about? The house? My feelings? My dreams?"

"Dreams?" asks Mayim, puzzled. "What dreams?"

I sigh, and look down at the ground. "I had some strange dreams earlier today when I fell asleep on the couch. They felt a lot more like memories than dreams, memories that were trying to free themselves, memories from when...I met and loved Amelie."

I can see that Mayim's eyes start getting watery, and I sense that there is something wrong with her as well, as if she knew something I didn't.

"And your feelings?" she asks with gentleness, and with sorrow showing on her voice. "What do you feel?"

I stay silent for a few moments, until I suddenly let a breath escape my lungs. "Never mind," I say, walking away from her, and dropping the paper on top of the table.

"But—"

"Just forget I said something about my feelings," I say. I don't really want to let Mayim know the way I feel for Amelie. At the end of the day, it is wrong, she is a married woman, and I shouldn't be feeling this way for her...and I have a girlfriend...a girlfriend who has been giving me reasons as to why think Amelie and I are what I thought we were...but if that's not it...then I seriously have no idea what she's hiding, even though that's not what's important right now, the issue is that I have a girlfriend, and I've fallen in love with another girl.