Crybaby | Melanie Martinez

Pity Party

"I'm just so excited, Johnny Jr! I know a bunch of people to invite!" I tell Johnny's old teddy bear. After Johnny's funeral, his mom gave me a few things of his. I got his second favorite sweater, his favorite hoodie, and his teddy bear.

I sleep in his sweater and wear his hoodie during the day. These both came unwashed out of his hamper, and I don't care how many people think that's gross because he puts his underwear there. It smells like Johnny, and I just need something that makes me feel like he's still here.

I grab my car keys and my mint green purse. I'm going to go buy some invitations, party decorations, and cookies from the bakery.

I hop in my car and drive to the bakery. Once I park, I realise something. The sweet shoppe Johnny took me to for our first date is right next to the bakery. Before I go into the bakery, I go into the shoppe.

"Welcome to Darla's Sweet Shoppe!" an employee behind the counter says. "Can I help you with anything?"

"Um, yes. Can I get a medium box of salted caramels? And also a small box of..." I trail off, searching for the complicated name both Johnny and I struggled profusely trying to figure out how to pronounce. "Nuggets?" I take a guess.

"That's actually not how you say it, but I understand exactly what you're talking about." The employee says, letting out a small laugh.

She grabs a small box and a medium box and fills them up with candies. She ties them with a bow, places them in a gift bag with the shoppe name plastered across it, and hands it to me.

"Forgive me for asking, but weren't you that kid's girlfriend? Like the kid that died?" The employee asks. I think of Johnny. My eyes start to tear up, but my sadness quickly fills with anger.

"Yes, I was the girlfriend of 'that kid who died' thanks for noticing. Now how much is my total?" I ask, the anger in my voice undeniable.

"Oh—um, on the house!" She says quickly, cheeks turning red. "Have a nice day!"

"Yeah, I will."

•••

"Ooh these are cute!" I think out loud, stopping in the middle of an aisle to pick up a set of invitations. After I left the candy shoppe, I went next door and bought a dozen chocolate chip cookies. I drove to the stationary store, which is where I am now.

I grab a set of matching 'Thank You' notes and make my way to the check-out counter.

"Oh my god, you're the chick who has the dead  boyfriend!" The check-out woman—whose name tag read Emille—says.

"Screw you." I say, and throw a $10 bill at her and then storm out of the store.

"But miss—you have to go through check-out!" I hear Emille shout.

"SCREW. YOU." I shout back.

•••

•August 15•

I sit on the couch in my living room waiting for my guests to arrive. I invited my old friend Valerie, Johnny's sister Jasmine, Leigha, Sam, Bradley, and Ryann, who were all friends from my old high school not too far away.

The time is 5:37 pm, and my party started an hour ago. No one had come yet. No one had called, no one has texted, no one has even said Happy Birthday. Not even my my mother, who gets one call every day. I guess I wasn't important enough to be worth her one call today.

I don't blame her, though. I am the reason she is where she is right now.

•••
7:50. No one has arrived. I lost my patience one and a half hours ago. I trashed my cake. And I may or may have not walked over to Valerie's, because she lives down the street. And who did I find at Valerie's house? All of my guests. Well, except for Jasmine. I didn't even know Valerie was friends with them!

So of course, I ran home. And got eggs. And I egged Valerie's house. I do feel bad for her parents, they do live there after all, but my feeling of triumph completely beat that feeling.

So here I sit, with cake covering my dress, and the smoke detector going off. As I grow sick of the sound, I storm into the garage and grab a bat. Then, I go into the smokey kitchen and beat the living shit out of the smoke alarm until it falls to the floor. I stand there for a second, admiring the fire I started by dropping a lit lighter on the curtain.

Why did I have a lighter, you ask? I found it in my brother's room next to a bag of weed.

I don't even know where the hell he is. Probably in a ditch somewhere, not that I care.

I'm just done with everything.

•••

Sooooo here's that late update... Another one coming tomorrow (lies, I'm sorry) as I said there'd be a double update!

I hope you guys enjoyed yet another horrible chapter in the crappy book! This is unedited so tell me where the mistakes are if there are any. Love you guys!

Anna x

•••
Melanie Martinez
Pity Party

Did my invitations disappear?
Why'd I put my heart on every cursive letter?
Tell me why the hell no one is here
Tell me what to do to make it all feel better

Maybe it's a cruel joke on me
Whatever, whatever
Just means there's way more cake for me
Forever, forever

[2x]
It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to (cry, cry, cry)
I'll cry until the candles burn down this place
I'll cry until my pity party's in flames

Maybe if I knew all of them well
I wouldn't have been trapped inside this hell that holds me
Maybe if I casted out a spell
Or told them decorations were in pastel ribbons

Maybe it's a cruel joke on me
Whatever, whatever
Just means there's way more cake for me
Forever, forever

[2x]
It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to (cry, cry, cry)
I'll cry until the candles burn down this place
I'll cry until my pity party's in flames

I'm laughing, I'm crying
It feels like I'm dying
I'm laughing, I'm crying
It feels like I'm dying
I'm laughing, I'm crying
It feels like I'm dying
I'm dying, I'm dying
It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

[2x]
It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to (cry, cry, cry)
I'll cry until the candles burn down this place
I'll cry until my pity party's in flames

It's my party, it's—it's my party
It's my party, it's—it's my party
It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to (cry, cry, cry, cry, cry)