Crybaby | Melanie Martinez

Crybaby

I sit in home ec with my hands covering my face. All we talk about is homes, families, where I barely have one.

I mean, I have a mom, a dad, even a brother.

But it's not like they acknowledge me at all.

"Crybaby, why don't you answer?" The teacher asks.

"U-uh, umm..." I stutter.

The teacher rolls her eyes. "Say you're babysitting, and suddenly the child falls and hits it head on, say, a dresser? It's bleeding, and the child has passed out. What do you do?"

"Uh, call 911?" I answer, guessing. But it's not like it's the wrong answer, unless you are 911, whenever someone is in a bad condition, you call an ambulance.

"Wrong." She scoffs. "You apply pressure to the wound and try to help them gain consciousness. Then you call 911."

"Crybaby is so dumb, why do you even bother asking her anything?" Natalia, the girl who sits next to me, says.

Tears start to form in my eyes, and I know that they will fall. I mean that's why my mom named me what she did. "I-I'm not-" I try, but the tears fall down my cheeks.

I start to bawl into my hands, while I hear people chanting "Crybaby! Crybaby!" over the sound of my sobs.

"I don't fucking care!" I shout, and run out of the classroom.

I make my way to my locker and grab my purse and my keys.

I run to my car and start the engine. I drive to my "home," but then I realise that I'll get screamed at, so instead I drive to Chick-Fil-A.

I end up ordering grilled chicken, kids meal, of course. Most people would judge me, but it has just enough to fill my petite body. Plus, it's cheaper.

Once my meal is served, I eat it slowly, while browsing toys-r-us. They have so many baby dolls, it's unbelievable.

I order a cabbage patch kid, which was an online special. I mean how could I pass it up?

When I'm done eating, I throw away the trash and make my way back to the car. I turn the car back on and decide to go to the park, since I still have an hour until school ends.

Once I arrive, I sprint to the swings. I start swinging steadily back and forth, and go on Instagram.

I see that Troye Sivan posted a new selfie, which, may I add, he looks hella fine in. I like it, and continue to scroll, until something catches my eye.

It's a picture of me crying, with the caption
"Crybaby was crying today because she so fucking dumb. Lol!"

Ironically, tears start to fall from my eyes. I hear chuckling coming from afar, and I look up to find Jason, Natalia's boyfriend, video taping me.

"What the hell?!" I scream, and stand up from the swings. Then I realize that it's no use. I'll just let them drown.

I walk to my car and drive home. I don't care if I still have 15 minutes until school officially ends, I'll face the punishment.

When I get home, I run up to my room and lock the door.

I search underneath my bed and grab my diary. I've never used it before, so I draw "CRYBABY" in blue bubble letters over the pink cover. I go to the first page and sign my name. I flip the page, and write a poem.

Saddest girl she has to be,

Salty tears stream down her cheek.