Kingdom of isolation - you can't hide

Three ~ Aurora

Aurora

Age 8

I'm having the same nightmare again. They don't stop—they haven't stopped ever since I saw that monster. I haven't visited that place after the incident but I always have nightmares about it. The scary boy and his demonic eyes had me bawling like a baby and I wasn't a baby, it was so embarrassing. I am almost 8 years old now, nearly a grown up like Caspian, but I still have nightmares about what happened. And he stole my pink ribbon too. That..monster! It was my favourite one. I try to snatch it off him in my nightmare but he's too tall and keeps it out of my reach, his face so cruel. I try to scream but his face is too close and makes it hard to breathe properly. I feel like I'm drowning in my own skin, my legs don't move when I try to run. Don't let me catch you. His words repeat over and over—

"Aurora, baby? Can you wake up for me?" Mama's soothing voice wakes me up from my nightmare. I'm breathing hard, fists clenched and sweat trickling down the side of my neck. I find Mama looking at me with worry and I snake my arms around her neck, squeezing her against me, making sure she's real.

"Mama..I was so scared." I sniffle.

"I know you were, honey. I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you." She murmurs against my ear, as if she knew exactly what I was referring to. She pats my back soothingly, rocking me gently until my shaking has calmed a little. It's become a frequent occurrence, my nightmares. But I always wake up to her soft touch and soothing warmth that makes me feel safe, letting me know I'm home and far away from the monster. But I can't help but feel slightly guilty too, I shouldn't have been out there all alone. I didn't listen, maybe it was my fault.

"No, no. You told me to stay and I didn't listen. I should have listened to you, Mama. I'm sorry.."

"Aurora, honey..it wasn't your fault, okay? Don't ever apologise."

"But.."

"It's okay, you're okay. I'm here now, I won't let the monster get to you."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

We stay like this for a little while, until sleep is long gone, nightmares forgotten and curiosity is bursting out of me. Lately, Papa has been disappearing in the middle of the night and coming back later in the afternoon. Sometimes he disappears for days and comes home all dishevelled and exhausted. I didn't think much of it at first but one time he missed our playdate and I had to make do with a grumpy Caspian instead. He had grumbled and complained about me painting his face like a girl but he loves me and didn't stop me either. Mama couldn't stop laughing when she saw his face covered in glitter that took too long to remove. Caspian's face is better suited for makeup though, he doesn't have a beard like Papa so it's a smoother surface and he actually looks very pretty when I colour his cheeks and lips.

I pull back from our hug and look at her face carefully, the contours of her face looking rather hollow and concern lines appearing on her forehead. Her once bright eyes are sunken in with darkness surrounding them, her beautifully tanned skin now sickly pale. She's still beautiful but I feel like something is missing, I just don't know what it is. I trace her soft cheeks with my fingers, placing a kiss on her small nose, her cheeks, her eyes. I want to make her happy. She sighs, kissing my hand that's still touching her face.

"My sweet baby." She murmurs, kissing my forehead.

"Where does Papa go when it's night time?"

Mama scrunches her nose, eyes narrowing on me playfully. I try not to smile, lips twitching.

"You are a curious kitten, aren't you?"

I grin, nodding. She smiles at me, pinching my cheeks. "Your Papa has some business to attend, that's all."