Secrets Of My Past

Sexy Math's Guy...

Okay, so during this whole time, some random Pakistani guy started stalking me and even called me a number of times! SMG is like an encyclopaedia so he knows everyone at uni so I asked him who this person was etc and came to the decision that I should block this stalker from all my social media.

Then everything went to a mess - I saw this post were SMG had tagged my stalker - I was really annoyed cause I wasn't sure where his loyalties were. I decided not to mention it but also decided never to ever start any conversation with him. Then he randomly msged me really late one night and then after a few replies stopped replying - He really seems bipolar at times LOL. Around this time, he also sent me snapchat of himself in the gym and I never replied to it cause WTH was I supposed to reply with? I thought it was pretty inappropriate cause it was basically saying, 'OMG see me! I'm so hot and amazing'. 😂😂

Then we saw each other in person and he was acting completely normal like started a convo himself and joked about how I should go to the library with him otherwise we might fail our exams. So I thought I'll just act normal when I see him etc. I should probably add this here, I'm the kind of person that if something hurts me, I don't express it, I stop initiating any communication with that person. I still behave as a good friend if they initiate a conversation and help them if they need me but I stop telling them my issues - this is exactly what I was doing with him.

During this time, I also found out (through someone else) that one of SMG's friend had a crush on me since the first Pakistani society meeting. This was super weird for me and I started thinking that SMG's changing behaviour was because of his friend's feelings. 😱

Then I literally committed myself to the library and started staying there from 9 AM to 11 PM and he would come there in the afternoons and stay there overnight - so there was this awkward hours when we were both there and I would see him EVERY-DAY😁And he started waving and acknowledging me so I did the same 🙋 - I always had headphones on and generally seemed quite unapproachable so he never made the effort to actually make a proper convo - I'm glad for it though! Cause my head was pretty messed up at that time and I would have definitely said something sarcastic! HOWEVER - he always did try to make himself noticed by me - like a few times. This one time, his friend was sitting next to me and he came there like 4 times and talked about the most random things in Urdu (and that too quite loudly). On one such occasion, I muted the voice in my headphones to hear and literally had to stop myself from laughing out loud. Luckily, I managed to act normal and pretended as if I didn't see him. And at last when he was leaving, I looked up to make sure that it was him and I'm not gonna lie but he was literally looking at me while walking away and he waved when he saw me look up - Advice...Curiosity kills the cat! 🐱

Few weeks later there were some Pakistani society elections and when I was walking to the venue, I saw SMG and he started a convo and started walking with me - which was super weird but not awkward! Then at the elections, both of us made it to the committee which was nice cause we can really make this society better! Over there, we met this girl called 'Arshia' (Calm down guys it's not her real name). She's quite pretty and is a very nice person. I started talking to her and turns out she also does accounting and finance like me but is in her second year - so both SMG and Arshia are the same age and I'm younger (sense the pain guys :P) After the elections, I went to the library and he was there with a friend talking. He sees me and is like, 'There's our new committee member' to his friend (he doesn't even whisper - It's a freaking library mate)! So I stood there for a couple of minutes to talk and this was the first time we actually properly talked in the library.

The next day me and Arshia met each other at the library café and were talking. Out of no-where, SMG comes and sits with us and talks for an hour. I felt reaaalllyyy out of place cause it turns out that they were from the same city in Pakistan and had a lot of mutual friends😭. Then after a couple of days, a few really strange things happened - SMG ignored me - like seriously full on ignored me at the library. I did the same in return LOL! I have no time for such drama during exams. 😎

Then on one of the days at the library, he walked past where I was sitting and stopped close to my desk and was texting someone so I looked and then cause he wasn't looking so I started concentrating on my work. He roamed in that space like 4 time but then then he goes to that girl Arshia (she was sitting a bit far) and starts talking to her - Let's just say I was pretty jealous.

BUT Arshia's a great friend of mine and she tells me all her interactions with SMG - probably cause she doesn't know that I'm good friends with him. I feel that SMG might like Arshia which I'm actually fine with me - It's a good reason to move on. ☺️

This was the last time I saw him. After this, there was a lot of playing hard to get - like from being the first person to see all my snapstories, he would now see all my snapstories an hour before they disappeared. It was almost as if he was going out of his way to avoid me. Seeing each other's stories and liking each other's statuses was the only form of communication left - I never liked any of his statuses though (EGO ISSUES MATE) 😹

Things started normalising for me as I came back home from uni and Ramadan started so I was fasting etc. and then this Wednesday (out of no freaking where) he messages me at 3 AM (THREEEEEEE??!! ) in the morning and is like it's results day tomorrow! I knew it was results day but it was quite shocking because he behaves strange for ages and then messages like normal. So we talked and shared our results the next - Alhamdulillah! We both got really good grades, in fact we got the same grade even though we're in different years and study different subjects🤓. Then mid conversation (like last time) he sees my message and doesn't reply. Then an hour later, he snapchats me. (I told you he seems bipolar hahaha) This is the first time, he gathered enough courage to snapchat me after that gym selfie. So I waited, a few hours (like 4 hours) before I opened it and we sent a couple of snaps. Then later that night, I was skyping friends and he snapchatted again. I didn't see it cause I was busy and uploaded a couple of snapstories. He saw all my stories and was probably upset that I didn't reply to him. I did reply this morning though when I saw it.

Oh BTW, He smokes and swears too 😪. Like he's never sworn in front of me but I've seen him do it on facebook to others and I don't like it 😭 Smoking is such a huge no. It's weird cause I knew all this from pretty much from the beginning but kinda accepted it - which shouldn't have been the case.

As of now, I don't know where we stand. I know things can't go further 'cause I wouldn't want to be in a haram relationship. It's complicated cause I don't know what I feel or what he feels. I'm constantly praying that I don't feel anything at all. Neither positive nor negative - just neutral. It's difficult to constantly be in this dilemma as to what he's thinking. I think I probably like / Liked him because he was the first Muslim and the first Pakistani guy so I thought things were possible - but now I don't think anything's possible. I think I just liked that attention and care that I got and through this whole thing, I really understood why Islam encourages a certain level of barriers with the opposite gender.

Let's just wait and see how badly he screws my life now! 😂

I hope you guys liked this little story-time. Trust me guys! An update is coming soon, Like I know the things that are gonna happen in SOMP next but I don't know what's the best way to write it - I'll work on it though!

Anyway, let me know what you think of SMG and this whole situation. And also if you guys have gone through something similar! :D