Human - phan

Eighteen

I rolled my eyes and I could feel Phil cringe in my arms. A muffled thump reached my ears as PJ hit Chris sleepily with an inanimate object.

"What were you going to tell me earlier?" I murmured into Phil's hair as silence resumed.

"Later," he whispered back. "It's nothing."

My brow furrowed. It hadn't seemed like nothing at the time. I opened my mouth to speak again, but Phil curled his legs up around mine and buried his face in my bare chest with a contented sigh and I closed it again. It could wait till morning.

PJ's quiet snores filled the darkened room. It was just as it had been; quietly comfortable, warm and secure. Except there had been subtle shifts. Now we were sleeping in my room as the dormitory – once my safe haven – had become too dangerous for anyone. Now, PJ and Chris slept tight in each other's arms as if joining to fend off the night terrors. In fact, I couldn't remember the last time they'd sprawled out happily alone in their separate beds when darkness fell.

Maybe they weren't as untouchable as I'd thought.

Under the duvet, Phil's hand found mine and our fingers entwined; our snores joining PJ's and Chris's in quiet, restless unease.

*

My mind was fuzzy, the last remnants of a dream chased away by the realisation that I was awake again. It was a nice dream, something about sitting in a big oak tree in meadow full of flowers but the details were fading fast even as I tried to recall them. With a mental sigh I allowed my brain to focus and cautiously opened one eye. The bright sunlight cut the room in half and I could see dust-motes dancing in the wall of light. I pulled the duvet up over my head, screwing my eyes shut against the light. Phil stirred at my side.

"Morning." He croaked, one blue eye open.

I pulled the blanket off my head with a smile. "Oh, hey there."

"I like this bed," he murmured. "It's soft and springy."

I sniggered, flashing him a wink and enjoying the flush that crept into his cheeks. He ignored me.

"There's more space too. I don't have nearly so many bruises as usual from your kicking."

"Ouch!" I laughed. "I don't kick!"

"You do when you're having a nightmare." He said quietly.

The laughter faded from my face. "You don't, you just cry a lot." I whispered.

His expression was grim and we surveyed each other. He nodded slowly.

"Well, it's a good thing I've got you to wipe the tears away, I wouldn't wanna ruin my pillow case."

I smiled sadly. "Sorry about the bruises."

He gave me a quick squeeze. "It's okay. It's not that often, considering. Let's work on no more nightmares, hey."

I nodded in agreement. "That would be nice. I think you have more than me, though."

His face twisted. "Yeah. I reckon you might be right there."

"You wanna tell me about it, or...?" I asked softly.

Phil cast a furtive glance over at Chris and PJ, sleeping soundly on the floor. "I think I have to. I, just not right now. There's... a lot to tell." He sighed and I kissed him gently, bringing a subtle lift to the corner of his mouth.

"Just promise me you won't go trying to find it out yourself, okay? I'll tell you everything. I owe it to you, you've been amazing. I just- I don't want you to hear it from someone else. Just promise for me, okay?" He muttered earnestly.