Vampire Knight: My Vampire Nekos

I Choose You. . .

"Alondra, how long are you going to take in making your choice? It's obvious to us, but all we need is for you to make it obvious to yourself." Ichiru tells me. I sigh.

"Why can't you guys tell me who I want, if it's so obvious?!" I question them.

"You won't believe us if we told you!" They say, and make me wince.

"Go for a walk, Alondra. Think things through until you figure it out." Ichiru says putting his hands to my shoulders, and starts to pushing me out.

"Huh?! Wait! But-" Ichiru closes the door in my face. Luckily I was far enough not to get hurt. I grunt, and look towards the hall leading towards the exit of the hospital rooms on this floor. I look at the door one last time before heading off. All alone. No company.

                                                                   ~0~

"This is so confusing. How can a walk help me decide?! If they know who I want, then why not tell me?! I won't believe them, right." I run my fingers through my hair. Desperately wanting to know. It's the most irritating thing in the world. I've gone through every single moment that I can recall, where they make my heart pound.

"For once, can you just pay attention to me without thinking about Zero?"

I recall Kaname telling me two days ago in that hospital room. "But I thought about you too when I was with Zero." I answer that voice of the past.

"You want to see him, don't you?. . .It's written all over your face, Alondra. You want to see Zero Kiryu."

I smack my head multiple times to make the memory stop. "I said I was happy to see you too, Kaname! Why would you. . ." I stop the beginning of my rant.

"You want to see Zero Kiryu."

I drop my hands to my sides.

"I wanted to see you t-"

". . .are you just too dense to realize it already? It's obvious even to Kuran."

I lean against a tree, pressing my cheek on the rough bark.

"You're a real idiot during these kinds of things, and you're in complete denial of your feelings."

Am I really? Am I really just denying what I feel? It's not that I'm confused. I'm just in denial. Yet I can't bring myself to accept who I want. If I do I might hurt Kaname or Zero.

"Maybe I should just give up, and not see either one of them anymore. It's for their own good and mine. I choose. . . neither." I feel a harsh pang in my heart. Is this what it feels when a heart really breaks into pieces? I put a hand to my aching heart.

"If I don't want to hurt them or myself by distancing myself, but why does it hurt so much?" I put my palms to my eyes. I try to make my tears stop, but they won't stop. They keep falling. I clench my hands, and start to run. Anything to clear my thoughts. To make this ache stop.

1 week later:

"Alondra, are you alright?" My mom questions me as I face away from her, and face the wall instead. My pillow still drying from the last waterworks I shed in my sleep. I nod my head, because I'm afraid I might cry again. It's been a week since I last saw them.

I made sure to not be around when Zero or Kaname decided to come and see me. I haven't even seen Ichiru and Yagari-sensei. It's so lonely and boring. I'm sure they'll get tired of my avoidance, and leave me alone. Just a bit longer. . .I'm sure.

My mom jumps on the bed, and wraps me in her arms the moment I start to sob uncontrollably. "Please! I'm begging you, Alondra! Tell me what's wrong? You've been in bed a whole week, and you do nothing but cry! Please!" I hear the tears in my mom's voice also. I'd answer her. I'd tell her that nothing was wrong, but I can't stop sobbing.