outside

chapter 1

"And all I wanna know, is just how far you wanna go! I wanna make you my business! I wanna tolerate drunk you, honey! I wanna make you my problem!"

I pumped my right fist in the air as the lyrics rolled off of Van's tongue perfectly in-tune. My fist turned into a pointed finger every time the word "you" was sung, as if I were relaying the words right back to him. Although, most of the time I was just yelling the lyrics from the tops of my lungs, most likely resulting in me losing my voice later on in the night.

I was sweating buckets by this point in the concert, my shirt grossly sticking to my back, along with my thick hair. Other sweaty bodies were jam packed all around me and I kept having to shove people in order to keep my spot in the front row. My best friend, Maddie, didn't have the same problem, considering her staggering height of 5'8" compared to my 5'3". But I wouldn't have it any other way, it was definitely worth it if I got to watch Van practically making out with his microphone all night.

"Thank you for having us, St. Louis! You've been proper class! This is our last song off of our first album, Tyrants!" Van yelled into the mic before carefully strumming the intro to the final song of the night. The crowd began cheering immensely before starting to jump up and down to the rapidly increasing beat. Maddie and I began to sing out the lyrics with Van and I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He was so attractive, with the sweat dripping off of his face as he aggressively shook his hips back and forth with the tune. It was mesmerizing, and insanely hot.

Maddie and I had become obsessed with the band (and Van) about three years ago and had already had the amazing opportunity to meet them, which I was extremely grateful for. Granted, I was an extremely awkward 16-year-old girl at the time, so the meet and greet lasted about a solid minute as I managed to mumble out a few words before breaking into a full-on anxiety attack. Let's just say that I hope they forgot that ever happened, it was a messy scene.

"I tried my best to get my hands on your jacket, so we could make a racket!"

Van hopped up onto the speakers in front of the stage, guitar and mic in hand as he continued to slam through the verse, word after word effortlessly slipping from his full lips.

He was now just a few feet in front of me, his long legs on display in those tightly-fit, black skinny jeans. I quickly slowed my jumping to a stop so that I was able to get a good glimpse of his face while he was so close. He bent down seductively as he huskily sang the next line, sweat dripping off of the tip of his nose. The flashing lights illuminated his face beautifully, his crisp, blue eyes shining brightly.

"Nothing's alright, believe me!"

I could've sworn we made eye contact right before he aggressively jumped off the speaker and back on stage to join his band mates. And was that a wink? Probably not, but a girl can dream, right?

The song sadly came to an end and the concert was soon over. The small venue began to evacuate quickly, considering that there weren't that many people there. That was one of the great things about loving a band that wasn't insanely popular yet; the shows were more intimate.

Maddie and I snapped a few goofy pictures in front of the stage before exiting the stuffy building, the cool spring air hitting us like an ocean wave. It felt absolutely amazing.

We giddily pranced down the block on our way back to the car, passing several small shops. It was pitch black out by this point in the night and the only thing illuminating our way were the evenly spaced out street lights. We turned right on a sketchy side street, and much to our surprise, a tour bus, most likely the boys', was parked there, a group of squealing girls crowded around the entrance. Maddie and I shared a quick glance before dashing over to the crowd, eager to get a peek at the bandmates. Unfortunately, a security guard was in front of the door, pushing all the girls back.

"They're not going to be coming out here tonight, sorry everyone." The toned bouncer grunted, not sounding sorry at all. A chorus of moans and groans of despair broke out of the group and the girls sulked away.

"That's a real bummer, it would've been nice to meet them again." Exclaimed Maddie, walking the rest of the way down the sidewalk to her car, me trailing behind her.

"Yeah.." I stated, trailing off at the end. My mind had already escaped to other places.

"Do you want to go to The Gramophone?" Maddie asked, buckling her seatbelt and starting the ignition.

"I thought you'd never ask." I smiled.

The Gramophone was our favorite local bar. Luckily, my dad's friend, Frank, owned it so he would always hook us up with drinks since we were underage. Quite scandalous if you asked me, but he trusted us.

"Hey, girls!" Frank yelled over the buzz of conversations and music as we entered the dimly lit bar. It was slightly crowded tonight, with groups of people crammed into booths and around the tall tables spaced out around the room. The bar was the worst part, though, with not one empty seat to be seen. We squeezed our way through the drinkers, murmuring a quiet "excuse me" here and there.

Luckily, an older couple was just leaving, so Maddie and I were able to grab some seats. I hopped up onto the elevated stool and set down my phone on the old oak bar. I lied my head down on the cool wood, exhaustion beginning to overcome my body from all the dancing and jumping earlier. I could barely keep my eyes open at this point.

"How was the concert, girls? As amazing as you thought it would be?" Frank asked, approaching us from behind the bar. My eyelids fluttered shut.

"Fucking amazing!" Maddie practically squealed, answering for the both of us. I could hear Frank chuckle, wheezing occasionally due to being a smoker for too long.

"So what can I get for the both of you?"

"I'll have a martini, please." Maddie answered.

"For you, Kate?"

"Beer." I answered raspily, my voice already fading. I could feel Maddie scowling at me without even having to open my eyes. She disapproved of me drinking beer, however, I enjoyed the bitter taste of it.

"You got it." Frank answered, mixing Maddie's martini quickly and sliding it across the table to her. I picked my head up and opened my eyes, stretching my arms above my head. I turned my bar stool around, peering around the bar as I stretched, not noticing anything interesting. Frank grabbed a large pint and filled it with my favorite dark lager. He began to slide it over to to me when he started to go wide-eyed.

"I'll be right back. " He said distractedly before slowly edging his way to the end of the bar and calmly speed-walking out of the front door. I shrugged, figuring it was just a dumb fight that usually occurred around this time on Friday nights, and took a sip of my beer.

"Mmm, I love a girl who can down a beer like that." A husky voice from my left said, startling me. The man's accent was thick and hard to understand. I rolled my eyes and turned my stool to Maddie. Anytime that a sketchy, drunk man would try to hit on us in a bar, we would pretend to be a lesbian couple. Surprisingly, it worked a lot better than you'd think, men usually backed right off.

I held out my hand for her to grab to make it more believable, but she shook her head no, eyes wide. I gave her a quizzical look, forcing my hand out farther. Frustrated, she shook her head yet again and whizzed my bar stool around. My boring grey eyes met with a pair of pale, yet vibrant, blue ones and I was shell shocked by what I saw. Van McCann himself was there in front of me, cheeky grin and all.