Depressed love

Chapter 9

I ran the shower water as I slipped my clothes off. As the water hit my skin all the blood washed down me.
I shut my eyes just thinking about all the memories with Josh. A lot of them made me laugh but then when I realized he was gone i would stop. Ever since me an Josh became friends we always had this promise to each other, it was that one day we'd run off to another place far from everybody. He got a job so he could have more money then what he got from when his dad died. I was going to use the money I got from after my parents passed to. Josh an I wanted to travel to many places like Paris an Greece and also his home state which was Boston. I've dreamed to go to the Eiffel Tower since I was just 6. I stopped the shower water from running as I was all cleaned. I got out putting a towel around me then walking to my mirror. I whipped the fog from it a little an stood there smiling. "Go kaydence, live our dream for the both of us" I could hear Josh saying. I smiled an closed my eyes just picturing him with me as we ran to the Eiffel Tower. "Go" he said. I ran to my room grabbing my suit case an stuffing clothes in it. I ran down stairs after I changed going to my dads old office. I opened the door slowly to see everything still in place, some things were dusty but others looked fine. I circled around remembering the memories I had of me running in to tell him dinner was ready. It was almost as if that was yesterday. I walked over to his desk an opened the top drawer. There the envelope was saying 'to Kaydence' I also grabbed the one that said 'to Lucas'. I opened the envelopes to see a check with a letter for both of them. I didn't read them instead I put them back in the envelope an rushed back to my room. I closed my suit cases as all the things I needed were packed in them. I grabbed a piece of paper along with a pen writing my aunt Sarah a letter. "Go to my house" I looked around my room but no one was there. "The box" I heard. I looked over at a picture of Josh by my bed. "Maybe you can buy me some flowers to put by my grave" he laughed. It was so weird that i could hear him an feel like he was still next to me. I grabbed my suit cases an my Keys then headed out of the house.
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"God Josh the last place I want to be is in front of the dolans house" I said. I parked my car on the side of the curb. I got out an walked to his backyard grabbing a flower pot. I threw it on the floor as it broke open an showed a small key. I got the key An ran to the front door unlocking the front door. The house smelt old now like nothing living had even lived here. Incase your wondering, Josh lives alone in his dad's house, his mom rarely comes home. I ran up to his room to see The police tape was still tapped over his door. The body was still drawn out on the floor to. I tried my best to ignore it as I walked over to his bed. I kneeled down an looked under to see our box we made. It had pictures of places we were going to go to, it also had our pass ports an his money in it. I grabbed the whole box an walked over to his closet. "Sorry josh but I'm taking some of your clothes" I said. I could hear is adorable laugh. The one that always made me smile. "Not like you never do" I heard. I laughed as I slipped one of his hoodies on, it was my favorite one he had. It was a tie dye one with a ying yang symbol on it. I got everything I needed then headed out his house locking the door behind me. As I turned around I saw Ethan an Grayson outside of there house. I jumped behind the small wall on Josh's front porch that would hide me almost dropping the box an his stuff. I inched my head out to look at what they were doing. It looked like they were passing a football to each other. "You know we're ass wholes don't you" Ethan said. "How could I not know that" Grayson said. "We really fucked up man" Ethan said as he caught the ball an just held it there. "Dude come on" Grayson said. "No grayson, we fucked up so bad were terrible people an I lost Kaydence forever" Ethan said. I inched over a little more an kept listening. "You never even had her Ethan" Grayson said. "How would you know that" Ethan said. "Look I didn't mean it like that" Grayson said. "You did Grayson. You don't even know how I felt about her. I was in love with her she's all that was on my mind an my heart just pounds so fast when I even think about her an knowing I not only hurt her but I broke her in so many pieces that it's impossible to even put her back together. I pushed her so much that she'll never ever forgive me an I'm the reason her bestfriend died man" Ethan said. I could see his face twitch a little as he started crying. "Ethan" Grayson said as he hugged him. I went back to the wall an leaned against it. "Your falling for him aren't you" I heard. I looked up to see Josh. I grew a smile as I saw his. "How can I see you" I asked. "Your defiantly falling for him" he said. "No never. I'm not falling for him" I said dropping my smile. "Kaydence since 9th grade All you did was talk about him even when he hurt you you would say good thinks about him" Josh said. "I don't like him" I said. "Yes you do. I may be dead Kaydence but I know you like him. Maybe you should just forgive him" he said. "Are you serious. After everything he's done to me what he did to you, he's why your dead josh" I shouted. "Kaydence don't do that. You can't tell that you do but I can. I know he's why all this happened but Ethan was never like that an I know that now. Everyday he went home from school you'd think he'd be partying but he'd really be crying. You know he went to therapy for what he did to you, that's why he took you to the fair to keep you safe from grayson an to start over with you" Josh said. I backed up a little turning my head to see Ethan an Grayson still hugging. "Stop thinking your some weak girl Kaydence" he lifted my chin then disappeared leaving me here. I looked back over starring as they pulled away from there hug. "Damn it" I said. I began to walk down his drive way an over to the dolans house. They heard my foot steps as I approached them. There facial expressions made me feel more depressed. Ethan wiped his tears as Grayson just starred. I looked down not knowing what to say. I kept trying to talk but was stuck. What are you supposed to say to two guys who made your life a living hell? "Kaydence" I heard Ethan whisper. I kept starring at Mine an Josh's box. I turned around an walked but stopped. I turned around at them again. "We're so sorry" they both said as I said "I forgive you". "What" we all said at the same time. "We're sorry I'm extremely sorry. Listen i know I was way worse then Ethan was to you. I don't know why I ever hurt you Kaydence I'm so sorry you have no idea how sorry I am an how much i wish I could go back an change everything. It was never your fault in any of this an we hurt you" Grayson said. I looked over at Ethan. "You guys did therapy" I asked. There faces shot towards each other. "Uh where'd you hear that" Ethan asked. "Why'd you go" I asked. "Because of what we did to you" Grayson said. "Isn't a therapist supposed to help you get your problems to go away" I asked. "I mean yeah" Ethan said.
"You guys have a suckish therapist" I laughed. I could hear Josh's laugh to as they just stood there lightly smiling. I began to laugh harder as they made confused faces. " I held a grudge for three years. I never realized that out of these three years so much shit has happened to me an all I did was sit back an let it happen. Everything you guys did to me never even hurt me I just put in my head that it did an I swore I'd never forgive you guys but now with everything happening I do" I laughed. "I forgive you guys" I said. "An you know I'm never going to forget that you guys put me through hell but I bet you guys are going through hell now from your mom figuring out which I would say I'm sorry but" I laughed at the end. "We deserve it" Grayson said. "Thank you" Ethan said. "For what" I asked. "Forgiving us" he said. "Yeah. I guess we got to caught up in everything that we never realized you've always been the amazing Kaydence you are but we kept trying to not let you be like that. We're really sorry we really are"Grayson apologized. "You know what my mom used to tell me when I fought with my brother" I asked. "What" Ethan asked. "To forgive an hug but also to shut the hell up so she can hear her self think" I said an they both laughed making me. They both came an hugged me at the same time, like a small group hug. As they pulled away I grabbed onto Ethan's arm. He looked At my hand then back up to my eyes. " I love you" I said in my head. "Sorry I almost tripped" I lied. "It's ok" he said. "I should get going" I said. "Oh" he said. "Bye" is all I said as I walked off again. "Kaydence stop" Josh appeared trying to stop me. "Don't give up now" he said. "Leave me alone" I said as I kept walking. "Stop ok just stop. He's the one thing you need now in life. He can help get you everything you need to be happy in life Kaydence an you know it more then me. Your leaving so why not spark something now" he said. I looked at him then my keys. "I'm scared it'll be a mistake" I said. "Listen to me I'm telling you the truth it won't be a mistake trust me" he said grabbing onto my shoulders. I set my box down next to my car. "Go get him tiger" Josh smiled. He kissed my forehead. "I love you" I whispered. As I turned around once again I could hear him whisper "trust me Kaydence I love you way more". "Hey Ethan" I called. He turned around an looked at me. I began to walk faster. I smiled as I got closer. I placed a hand on the back of his neck an my other on the side of his face smashing his lips onto mine. He relaxed into the kiss as he placed his hand on my neck andlower back.
Sparks everywhere you could say. Shocking right? Out of all this some how I ended up kissing him.
I pulled away as he smiled. "I'll see you later" I said. "Where are you going" he asked. "On an adventure" I smiled. "Can I come" he asked. I looked over to my box then back at him. I had an idea in my head, not an amazing one though. "I don't think you can" I said. "Well where are you going" he asked. "I can't tell you unless you come" I said. "I'll be right back just give me five minutes" he said pecking my lips. I stood here shocked but finally relaxed smiling as he ran into his house. I walked to my car waiting for him. 2 minutes. 3 minutes. 4 minutes. And 5. He came running out of the house with a suit case in one hand and a box in the other. He ran up to me making me laugh a little. "Your going to Paris" he said. "How did you know that" I asked confused. "I used to hear you an Josh talk about it in school that's why you have that box isn't it" he asked. I nodded my head. "When I was eleven I made this box it was to go to Paris to look" he said opening it. "I printed photos out of the places I want to go in Paris an the things I wanted to try or see. I also have birthday money stashed in here an my camera so I had memories" he said. I smiled as I picked some photos up from in it. I walked to the back of my car opening my trunk. I smiled an he did to as he placed his suit case in there next to mine then closed the trunk for me. we both starred for a couple of seconds then ran to get into my car. we got in at the same time, me in drivers seat an him in passengers. We both put our seat belts on. I started the car an was starting to go till I stopped. "Wait" I said. "What what's wrong" He said. "I'm not going on a trip I'm I'm actually leaving" I said. "Well I guess I am to" he said. "But your parents-" he cut me off. "Grayson's got me covered" he said. He leaned over an kissed me. "I wanna be with you Kaydence" he said. "I may wanna be with you to"I joked making him laugh. He intertwined our hands as I began to drive.