The Boy I Loved

Chapter 5- Falling

I'm not sure what I'm doing. I can see the stars, the little balls of bright light in the midnight sky, and I know it's late, and I know it's cold but I can't seem to make myself get up. The idea of a future, something beyond this beach house, these people, my world, frightens me. The idea that someone might not want me to succeed, that someone could genuinely hate me, that they could wish for me to suffer frightens me. Maybe I'm naive, maybe I'm too innocent, or I'm not thinking clearly, but laying here, in a giant pool in the backyard of my sanctuary, I think is the clearest you can think. That's what I'm supposed to be ready for, aren't I? College. Real life. The world. But all of those college prep tests and college readiness scores couldn't have possibly prepared me for the looming anxiety that settles in my chest as I think about it.
The water is warm, and the air isn't, but they both provide me a sense of peace, a longing, a feeling that maybe will never go away. I want to stay here forever, looking into the midnight black, staring at the trickling bursts of white until my eyes hurt and I have to blink, feeling the silky smoothness of the chlorinated water below me, enveloping my body into its capsule of peace.
I lay there for what feels like hours, in my bathing suit, but I know it's just a matter of minutes. Amy and Jake went to bed, and as soon as they left, so did I. For some reason, Nate scared me a little. I'm not sure what to say, how to act, how to feel when I'm around him.

I waited in my room until I heard the door to his room close, then sneaked past it and into the backyard.

"Having fun?" A voice comes from the sliding door, cool and fresh, confident and certain. I straighten myself, my wet hair sticking to my back.
"Yeah. The city's never like this. Sometimes you gotta love the moon and the stars as much as you love people."
He raises an eyebrow and steps onto the cement.
"Damn that's deep," he says, putting a towel next to mine on a lounge chair.
"You know, I don't think I've seen the sky this clearly in years," he comments, smiling up at the midnight pool above him. "I think the last time was-"
"The night before high school," I interrupt him, because I'm not sure if he was going to say the whole thing, and I didn't want to hear it. Not now.
I watch him stare at the sky, I can still see his hard jaw in the moonlight, the shadow on his face.
"Yeah," he sighs, slow and full filling, and then looks at me. He smiles and I look down, too watching the reflection of the night on the glassy surface of the water. There's a loud splash in front of me, and I look up, only to be hit with water. I wipe the water from my eyes and stare ahead, at this boy who emerges from the pool in just swim trunks. I look at him dumbfounded, as he wipes his hair from his forehead and smiles at me.
Then I regain my composure, and I do what any sane human would do.
I splash him.
It's his turn to be dumbfounded, and he stares at me with wide eyes under this blanket of endless sky.
"Excuse me?"
"What?"
"Di- did you just splash me?"
"You started it."
His eyes get significantly wider, and I feel proud as I cross my arms over my chest.
"Yo-you can't just splash me," he says exasperated, as his hands fly into the air.
"Why not? You splash me first," I reply, calmly.
He points to himself, "My splash was unintentional. You were just being cruel."
I raise an eyebrow. "I was being cruel for splashing you, even though you were the one who splashed me first?"
He cries out, seemingly wounded by my words, "Mine was unintentional. You know if you don't know what that means Coco, you can just ask," he says with a small lopsided smile.
I gasp, "Excuse me? Did you just insult my vocabulary?"
"Did you just insult my dignity?"
I narrow my eyes at him, locking his gaze in a battle. I raise my hands.
And I splash him. Again.
"Oh my god. You are going to pay," he cries, lunging at me. I squeal and try to swim away, but he catches my foot, yanking me back towards him.
His hands are on my waist, and mine are on his chest. I can feel him looking at me, and I slowly raise my eyes to meet his. And I wish I didn't. I can tell what's going to happen to me. I can feel it all coming back. As I stare into his eyes, his honey, syrupy eyes, a couple inches away from his face, both of us breathing heavily, I can feel myself falling.
His eyes are mesmerizing. They're deep, endless, almost as endless as our night sky, the sky we were admiring. The effect the sky has on me is rare, the only things that can really compare are his eyes. His full, magical eyes. They remind me of the earth too. Of trees after rain, of fire, of comfort.
Of warmth.
Of home.
And I'm stuck. I know what I want to do. But I know if I do it, I'll be back to square one. He leans in closer, his mouth opening slightly, as if he was about to tell me something, and he looks like he's going to kiss me. And all I can do is stare at his eyes. But he doesn't. He pulls me into a hug. A warm, wet hug. And I breathe in sharply against his hot, smooth skin. His face is in my hair, and I swear I can hear him whisper into the night. He holds me tighter and I breathe him in again, his woodsy, minty scent. I shut my eyes, pressing them together, not sure how to get the words I heard out of my head. And I don't know if I wish I didn't hear them, or if I'm glad to hear them. Maybe I made them up. I hope i did. I hope he didn't really tell me he's falling for me.
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Hello! How's it going my dudes? Good I hope. So this chapter was really fun for me to write. I'm trying to kind of give Chloe some character development and show you guys chloe and Nate's relationship a little, so let me know if the thats coming across properly. As always, thank you for reading, criticism is welcome(don't be mean cause being mean is no bueno), please vote, comment and add this story! Have a great day! Also I'm hoping that the next chapter will be up like in the next 15 days? Hopefully. We will try. Thanks again, and I love you all:)
-ruttututti