When I Was Fifteen

Chapter 33- I'm Not Her Mother

My life, yet again, was a mess.

I had two great options.

There was James. Who I had fallen in love with so deeply before. I admit, we have an unbreakable bond. I never thought anything could tear us apart. I was starstruck by him. He was my best friend and my boyfriend at one point. He was always there for me. I still love him.

Then, there was Kyle. He was there for me when I needed him. I have a good relationship with his mom which is important to me. He was the reason I was okay without James. He's always been there for me. He was the one that gave me what I wanted on Valentine's day. I had said I thought of him as just a friend but now things seem to be changing.

I mean, there were issues with both of them of course but when I was with them, there never seem to be.

I wanted this to be easy. I wanted it to be that one of them was way better but that wasn't the case. They both were perfect but not perfect at the same time.

I went upstairs and threw on some grey sweatpants and a Calvin Klein sports bra. I headed downstairs and started making cookies. By the time they were in the oven, I felt like passing out. It was 7 pm and I was exhausted. I grabbed a red bull from the fridge, which are strictly for my dad, and opened it up. I chucked it down as fast as possible and a burst of energy washed over me. Hopefully I'd be okay for the next hour at least.

~~~~~~~~

Everything went fine. Once the cookies finished, I let them cool and I ended up eating all two dozen that I made. I felt so sick after and ended up vomiting. I think I threw up the energy drink, if that's possible, because afterwards I felt exhausted again.

I went to bed and ended up waking up around 7 am. I checked my phone and there was a couple missed texts.

James- hey, are you busy tonight?

Kyle- Hey, are you busy tomorrow?

Here it was, my two one on one dates. I wasn't ready for this at all, but I knew that this is what I needed to do.

~~~~~

James and I ended up talking on the phone for a while and we made plans for him to pick me up at 8 and we were going to this party at Cora's boyfriend's house. His name is Zack, they met literally a week ago and started dating yesterday. I had never met him so I was really nervous but he seemed nice. Cora was a good girl so I didn't expect him to be bad.

I decided to wear a pink crop top with high waisted light blue jeans. It was a little cold even though it was April. I thought about bringing a sweater but then I realized it would be a good test to see if James was still a good gentleman.

Anyways, we show up and the first thing we do is look for Cora. There's only about twenty people here, so we find her pretty easily.

"Kels! James! Thanks for coming. This is Zack!" Cora says and there he is. He is a little taller than Cora and has a big smile on his face. He has a few freckles dotted along his forehead and cheeks. He has dusty brown hair and pretty brown eyes. He looks like a good guy.

"Hi! Nice to meet you. I'm guessing you're James?" He says jokingly to me and shakes my hand.

"And you must be Kelsey!" Zack says and shakes James' hand. We all laugh even though it's kind of stupid but whatever. He's goofy, nice, and seems to be making Cora happy.

We all start talking about some random stuff, and then my stomach starts growling so James and I head inside to get some food.

"Zack seems nice," James says.