When I Was Fifteen

Chapter 31- Are You A Druggie?

The rest of the day was actually really chill. I usually hung with my mom on Sunday's but obviously it was different. She was being super weird yesterday on the phone. Normally she wouldn't just hang up like that, especially if something important was happening. When I texted her this morning, she didn't even reply. I miss her a lot and I need to know whats going on. When she had left before, I never could get her off my mind.

The next day was obviously Monday. I got up around 8 to do all my work, and by about 1, I had finished. Just in case you forgot, I'm still at online school. I'll probably go back next year though. Thank God for my dad that he let me do online school otherwise today would be a mess. I wonder if he even knows what happened on Saturday.

Anyways, I didn't go on any social media and hadn't talked to anyone all day. Around 3, there was a knock at the door. I figured it was Tommy and the garage wasn't working. I went to open it and there was Nick.

"Oh my God, go away, please, please," I scream and shut my eyes as he lunges towards me.

I wake up in my bed, soaked in sweat. It was thankfully just a dream.

I roll over and see that it's four. I must have fallen asleep once I turned off my computer. Now there's actually a knock on the door so I get up. I pass by Tommy's room and hear him singing along to Panda. It surprises me that boy is thirteen sometimes especially with the type of music he listens too.

I look through the peep hole and see James. He thankfully doesn't have another goodie bag. He looks pretty casual like he just came from school. What is he doing here?

He sees my face and waves. I open the door and let him in.

"Hi," I mumble.

"Hey, I was looking for you at school," he states.

"Oh, you didn't know I go to online school now?" I ask as I shut the door and lock it. A confused look takes over his face.

"Oh, nice," he answers and we walk to the living room. We both sit on the couch and don't say anything. You can feel the tension in the room, heck, my brother could probably feel it from upstairs. That's probably why he came running downstairs.

"Hey!" Tommy yells as he jumps into the room. He is all sweaty, probably because he was having a one person rave up there.

"Hey bud! What's up?" James asks as he walks over to Tommy and gives him a high five. A big smile comes across both of their faces. I forgot how much they liked each other.

"Not much, Penny is going to be here soon. Oh, Kels, Kyle texted me and asked about you," Tommy states and my heart stops.

"What?" I ask as I stand up and walk over to them.

"He wanted to know how you were doing and if you um had pills? What does he mean by pills? Are you a druggie?" Tommy asks.

"No, he must have meant vitamins, and tell him I'm okay," I lie and Tommy pulls out his phone. He goes on his phone, types, and then turns it off.

"Sent!" Tommy yells and then walks out of the room.

"That kid is just always full of energy," James says and I laugh.

"Yeah, my dad stopped buying soda and somehow he got more energized after," I reply and James chuckles. We both smile at each other but all of a sudden we stop. I look down at my feet and I feel his body coming closer to mine. He wraps his arms around my waist and my arms are just at my side. I feel like an awkward little penguin, but I have no idea what's going on. All of a sudden, I just lay my head on his shoulder.

"I will always love you," he whispers into my ear.

Okay hold on.

What the heck?

We go from talking to my little brother to the ending scene of a romance? No! This movie is not ending.

I pull away and take a step back, but he steps closer to me. He wraps himself around me again and I look up at his house. He smiles and kisses my cheek. Yet again, I lay my head on his shoulder, and try to relax, but I feel stiff and everything feels wrong. I step away from him and walk over to the couch. I sit down and look at my feet. I see his feet walking closer to mine and I look up.

"What's going on?" He asks, and I snap my head back down.

"I can't love you," I mumble, and he sits next to me.

"Why? Why can't we try again? Isn't this a sign? A sign that we can't stay apart?" He asks.

"Don't do that to me," I whisper and scoot away from him but he pulls me back in.

"Let me make it up to you, please. We've had time apart and I don't want to waste another moment," he replies and a tear begins to roll down his cheek. I wipe it away and gaze into his eyes.

"We can be friends, nothing more," I state, and a couple more tears shed.

"I think I should go," he mutters, standing up and walking towards the door. I freeze. I know if he stays, he will just want to get back together, which can't happen, but I don't think he should go.

"Wait, James," I state, standing up. All of a sudden, it's like I can't control myself anymore. My brain says no but my heart says yes. I run towards him and wrap my arms around him.

"Don't leave me again. Fight for me," I state and he holds me tight.

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